A True Friend

i worked really super hard on this poem and all my friends think its amazing. i hope you think so to

a true friend is someone who sticks with you
through thick and thin
who knows where you're going
and where you have been

it's someone who will tell you
the god's honest truth
and believe the things you say
without any proof

they don't make up stories
or tell big fat lies
and will always share
their plate of french fries

if you follow these rules
to determine your friends
you know they will be with you
until the very end

Iv never really read a lyrical poem and i honestly don't know how to determine what is good and what is not. I will say i do like the beginning but i feel as though towards the ending it becomes a little too fluffy. I loved your rhythm scheme through out the whole poem. I hoped this helped, but like i said Im not very familiar with lyrical poems.

Haha this is cute, I really like it It's so true! Especialy the french fry part

-Rach

mehhhh... to be rather honest.. like i always am... i didn't like it.. people change and they begin to hate you.. from different parts ofyour past they may learn about...may end up with you becoming scorned over...if only what you wrote was true... for all...

your are turly special and very lucky if you found a friend like this...

Hi.
I thought your poem was good. It reminded me of some friends that I have and made me smile. But, then I remembered some other friends and how they changed with life and one thing or another!
So, mixed feelings on your poem, but that is just my personal opinion.

The poem itself, I liked the concept, but it's one I've heard many times before! Maybe go for something more original next time?

Like it though,
Woozey

Hey again!!

This one was better than the last one, but I still think that you have a lot more to know about poetry.

First. again, your wording. Try to use colorful verbs and adjectives to describe. Try using a thesaurus, men invented them for a reason.

Second. Imagery, try giving us an image, something to stick to.

Third.

they don't make up stories
or tell big fat lies
and will always share
their plate of french fries

Please, don't make the poem rhyme when is not needed, because rhyme is not always needed. I would suggest you go read some of the writing tips here.

Fourth. This topic although cute and useful, is overused. You could have used the same idea with a different concept and words.

Fifth. As silent said, try living in the real world. even the best of friends fight. But how d you know they are best friends? Because even if they fight they forgive and most important, forget. Friends are not perfect, and sometimes the little differences is what keeps them together.