A Pondering Moment

21 posts1, 2
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hekategirl
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Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:19 pm
hekategirl says... · Sun Mar 12, 2006 5:19 pm
I like this poem, but it needs some tweaks. Mesh, pretty much covered them though.

I just want to say:

A stomach that is the very
Way to his heart if you can
Cook delicacies to satisfy him


I don't like that stanza, it's too cliche for me, but you can work with it and make it better. Keep writing!
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Boni_Bee
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Sun Mar 12, 2006 9:35 pm
Boni_Bee says... · Sun Mar 12, 2006 9:35 pm
I'm just wondering...in what way do you find it cliche, hekategirl?
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hekategirl
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Sun Mar 12, 2006 9:49 pm
hekategirl says... · Sun Mar 12, 2006 9:49 pm
I don't know, the whole the 'way to a mans heart is through his stomach' seems over-used to me. But that's just me, theres nothing wrong with that stanza.
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Boni_Bee
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Griffinkeeper
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Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:25 am
Griffinkeeper says... · Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:25 am
I like this. It actually isn't a depressing poem...

...For a change.
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Boni_Bee
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21 posts1, 2


"Storybooks and roleplays are just for fun!" To which I say: of course! But why only "just"? Sometimes fun is found in the full-send. Sometimes fun is found in taking it seriously, and aiming to do it with excellence!
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