The Court

Definitely. I just want the input of all you guys so I can get it right. If I do manage to get published, I want it published as a collaborative work So I just want input all the way through.

More detail, and you should fix all the typos. No offense meant to anybody, but there were a lot of them.

***

Guys, I just had a great idea for the climax.

Okay, so Maria and Krissy are about to kill the Rogue, right? And they have their daggers on him and everything, and one of the followers, probably Kayla, throws a knife at Krissy. Maria sees and shoves Krissy out of the way, but ends up hit in the side by the dagger in the process. So she's dying, Krissy's on the floor somewhere, and the Rogue can get up again. He gets up and goes over to Maria to finish her off, and Krissy/Grayson/whoever takes him out right before he does it. I think this could be a great way for the Maria/Grayson thing to be revealed. Maria will recover of course.

What do you guys think?

I like it. Are there any suggestions/ other ideas?

Probably cut it down to two or three points of view, at the most. Otherwise it'll be too confusing if the view keeps changing every few paragraphs.

I'm thinking about that but each view is vital to the story. So I'm thinking of ways to make the views longer or just make it clearer who's eye's you are seeing through

I know it isn't a Tiger but next time we have to wait more than 4 days I will take over your character until you are back then you can PM and send me what you want me to post instead of the one I posted. It's just so that the storybook doesn't stall. I want to keep the storybook quite easy going but I don't want it to stall completely.

Just to let you guys know

gsppcrocks10 wrote:
Okay, so Maria and Krissy are about to kill the Rogue, right? And they have their daggers on him and everything, and one of the followers, probably Kayla, throws a knife at Krissy. Maria sees and shoves Krissy out of the way, but ends up hit in the side by the dagger in the process. So she's dying, Krissy's on the floor somewhere, and the Rogue can get up again. He gets up and goes over to Maria to finish her off, and Krissy/Grayson/whoever takes him out right before he does it. I think this could be a great way for the Maria/Grayson thing to be revealed. Maria will recover of course.

What do you guys think?

Sounds good. The only thing is, Jas didn't get to be the Rogue's favorite by being a bad fighter. She's an assassin, it's just not logical to think that she's going to get taken down in an ordinary fight - especially when she's trying to save the Rogue - unless Krissy and them get extremely lucky.

I think that she should get killed before the big fight, by Grayson. I know that she says that she doesn't trust him right now, and she's furious at him for ditching the Rogue, but he's always been one of her best friends. She won't want to believe he changed sides. She trusts him, and because of that he can betray and kill her. I think that's how she should die.

Me and Crocky have been exchanging ideas about this, we weren't sure if you want your character dying so we said that we'd have Grayson betray everyone at the last minute. But if you want Grayson could secretly assassin Jas in her stable and no one knows where she's disappeared too. Grayson is a murderer, and completely smooth so I think he could act like he doesn't know. If you have any other ideas post them

I like the idea of Grayson killing the Rogue to save Maria. ((Meaning that I like your idea Crocky ^_^)) I already have ideas for a post like that lol. Plus it will be extremely hard for him to accept that because he's always been loyal to the Rogue but it will prove how much Maria means to him now. Just saying. ^_^ Though, it dosen't really matter.

Also, Grayson can't killed Jas. She is his friend and despite it all he couldn't bring himself to kill her unless he had to. Nor would he kill Lorraine or Kayla. Which will cause drama being that he's going to switch sides soon. ^_^

I dunno, just thought I'd put my thoughts in here. lol.

Oh yeah, big drama. I can see some long shouting matches coming up.

Will Grayson actually want the Rogue dead though? We're talking about the man he's loyally served for years. He's fought for the Rogue, stolen for the Rogue, even killed for the Rogue. Will he really betray him that completely? Or will he just switch sides for Maria, and not be part of the killing - the - Rogue scheme?

Well if he sees the Rogue about to kill Maria, he'll do the first thing that somes to mind. Kill the Rogue. I mean, yes, he will freak out about it afterward, but remeber his main priority is Maria now. (:

True love... *gag*

What if the Rogue does something so sick, so unforgivable, that Kayla, Lorraine and Jas lose all of their loyalty for him? Kayla and Jas have already had a conversation about whether the Rogue is worth dying for, and I know that Jas at least is starting to see just how bad he really is. So if he did something that turned them all against him... I'm not saying that they would flat out kill the Rogue, but if someone, you know, tried to stab him or something, they might be a little slower in reacting than they usually would...

Kayla would NEVER turn against the Rogue. lol. EVER. ^_^
In fact she would attempt to kill Krissy, Jas, Maria, Grayson, Lorriane, Daniel and all by herself to help the Rogue then turn against him. :/ Yep...it's her idea of -ahem- true love. ^_^

That's true. Then how are we going to do this? Someone is going to have to die. There's no way Kayla and Lorraine - Jas too, I guess, though she does have her doubts - would stand by and let the Rogue die. They'd fight to the death. So they're probably going to have to die. At least, that's what I'm thinking. Unless you have a better suggestion?

Well, Krissy might retreat once the Rogue is dead so that they can help their injured as well as Kayla, Jas, Lorraine and the others treating themselves because I'm assuming no one will get out unscratched. ^_^

So they Kayla won't be able to fight to the death...also she'll be weeping over the Rogue and looking for someway to "keep him alive" or something. She'll be in denial and too concerned about him to seek revenge...well at that part anyway...