Fear

My body shakes
I am stunned
As I sit immobile
Clutching my knees
Against my chest
My only company,

Inside
My heart beats
A native war drum
My legs
Are linguini
Wet lifeless noodles,

And as the hairs
On my cold white skin
Reach for the sky
I wish
For this nightmare
To end

I loved your poem! Its fabulous! at first, i found it a bit absurd, but when i read it again, i understood it perfectly.
A few things that i felt needed editing...
First of all, don't make the font size of the lines too bigger than the rest. it makes the poem difficult to read. make it bold and italic instead.
second, don't makes some lines smaller than the rest.

You seem like a writer who uses more of modern metaphors than the old ones. which is why i liked your poem. Using items of everyday, you have described the exact feeling of fear.

You write very well. if you write more, then do PM me. i would love to read more of your writings...
And welcome to Young Writers Society! Be free to ask anything.

I disagree with the Baron. I think that it's cool how you made some lines bigger than the others, just watch how small you make some of them, as it becomes harder to read as they get smaller. Maybe keep them font size twelve, but make everything else size fourteen. Anyways, I liked how you made the last line in bold, as it put more emphasis on it; like it really was the end, but what kind of end was it...? Bom bom bommmmm....

However, I don't really get this part:
My only company
Inside
My heart beats
A native war drum
Because it kind of skips from the inside to another topic... or wait... what do you think your only company is? Is it that yo are trying to say that your legs are your only company. (FULLSTOP) and then you start with ; inside, my heart beats? Or is the 'my only company' a start (i.e. excluded from the clutching of the legs) and that part runs all the way down to the native war drum?

Anyhow... you should put a comma/full stop in there somewhere, because it confuses me Don't be afraid to put a full stop in there, because you are already playing with the rules of poetry by putting the fonts bigger sizes than others...

But yeah, enough of me rambling on about your confusing part... I liked it!

I think this is a really great poem, I really think I understood it. We all feel fear, and I think you do a great job of portraying it. I actually really liked the linguini reference, along with the native drum one. They're some great metaphors!

This was inteeresting, although you shouldn't use random capitalization, the noodles part made me laugh, it seemed like it just doesn't belong, this was nice and sweet, I'm looking forward to reading more of yours!!

SHORT to say -

Reading this I felt as if I were looking at an individual through broken, or strangely cut, glass. Horror-breaking within a house of mirrors.
It reached me personally, echoing of schizophrenic episodes. It's not a deep or ground-breaking piece, but it succeeds in communcation 'the moment,' grasped.

I felt as a knight might, enduring his trial - a test of heart, courage, endurance.

I don't believe some people can tell the difference between literal rules and poetry.

Around, again.
-M.

Hello, I find it very interesting to use a variety of fonts and sizes to create emphasis in your poem it really fascinated me. For areas of improvement, I would change the description of your legs being noodles; it seems to take some of the energy out of the intense emotionality within the poem. I really enjoyed it though keep up the good work.

sweet poem man i thought it was cool i mean really the title really works. o and dude i think that when i read the poem i really felt like all the things were real good job.