The Graveyard

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The night was still young as I walked back from one of my friends house, the recently watched horrer film playing slowly over and over again in my head. I felt guilty from watching that movie, due to my parents sternly telling me off when I asked them for the hundredth time.
“But mom,” I protested. “All my friends are watching it! I dont understand why your treating me like a baby! I'm old enough to choose my own movies!”
Then, I walked away, oblivious to my parents angry raised voices, and slammed the door. How could I expect my parents how to remember how it was when they were kids? It seemed like they never were. Dad always told me stories about the 'good o'l days', when all the kids were soo responsible. How could they understand?
But now, i wish I had listened to them.
I was in the entrance of the graveyard now, a route I took when I needed to get home faster.
How ironic.
I had no choice but to go through it. Well, I did, but that choice included consequence, which I don't usually take gracefully. I was supposed to be home by nine O'clock, but it was now nearing nine forty. I didnt have time to take the long route around, and I felt strangly compelled forwards through the black iron wrought gate.
The moon shone against the tombstones, making the contrast even greater, and the tombs look even more black and looming.
The wind suddenly picked up and wailed, sounding like a thousand ghosts, and raising goosebumps and hair on my arms.
I tripped. I looked down to see what had caused me to do so. The ground was cracked... a definate result of the dry weather. I knew this, but I almost expected a disembodied hand to shoot out of the cracks opening.
I picked myself up out of the dust, and walked faster towards the exit, not bothering to dust myself off.
Finally, I saw the end of what seemed to be the neverending black gate. I picked up a sudden burst of speed and ran through. I felt safe at last.
There's a hole in the world like a great big pit,
and It's filled with the people who are filled with shit,
and the filth and the Vermin inhabit it,
and it goes by the name of London...




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Points 4920
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Hey, nice story!:-)
it was really impressive. i really liked it!

The moon shone against the tombstones, making the contrast even greater, and the tombs look even more black and looming



this was my favorite line in the story.cool one!

the only thing which i feel the story lacked was a bit of emotions... if you could only describe how you felt after you fought with your parents or how you felt while you were walking in the graveyard, this story might have been better...

but you described the scene really beautifully. you use good words while writing which makes your story really enjoyable...

overall, your story was good. i wish it was a little more spooky...

welcome to YWS! submit more of your writing which we will be able to read and enjoy!
Enjoy every moment of your life; you never know when it might come to an end...




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Points 1223
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Thanks so much for the advice, yah, it does seem like it should be a bit more spooky, but I had an assignment to do in writing class, and my writing teacher doesn't like that sort of thing. I'll try switching it up though :)
There's a hole in the world like a great big pit,
and It's filled with the people who are filled with shit,
and the filth and the Vermin inhabit it,
and it goes by the name of London...




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Gender Female
Points 4532
Reviews 57
Nice.
Is this a true story, If it is it must have been very scary for you. grave yards at night *shudder*.
Anyway, onto the This is a extra ordinary event told in a ordinary way. Nothing is really shocking about the way it is told. Maybe try and add some more whimsical language to it.
The good stuff is the story sparks a lot of ideas and has a couple of different layers to it. Also, this has a nice flow and structure. Well done.
Who is John Galt?



what are stories if not just vehicles for the pain of your own heart
— soundofmind