“Well, hello now mister...”
“Let's skip the usernames.”
“If you're sure. Well, I hear your interested in joining the society.”
“Well, yes. You see, I've joined a few times before. With different names.”
“Past lives? You Buddhist?”
“Um... no. Well, all I'm saying is yes, I'm interested in writing here.”
“That's great to know. I'm just going to have to ask you a few standard questions.”
“Okay then.”
“Well, first off, do you have a deep hatred for Eragon, Twilight, or Harry Potter?”
“I guess so.”
“Good, you'll fit right in here. Secondly, are you sure you're from America?”
“One-hundred percent sure.”
“And no one is telling you to say that? You're not from some other country without freedom of speech trying to denounce conditions in said country and cause an international incident?”
“I suppose I'm not. Hey, what does this have to do with the society?”
“Just some general questions, sir. Favorite food?”
“Cheesy chicken rice.”
“Favorite movie?”
“I dunno. Stranger than Fiction?”
“Favorite quote you repeat over and over in your writing?”
“Either 'so what's it gonna be, eh?' or 'say goodbye to your kneecaps!'”
“Never heard that one before. Favorite book?”
“I don't really have one favorite.”
“Oh, cop out time. This won't look good. Okay, but I do have one final question you might just redeem yourself with. What do you like to write?”
“Well, I can't really put it into words.”
“Okay, how about this. What don't you like to write?”
“Pretty much what everyone else likes to write.”
“Well, so much for redeeming yourself. You ever considering becoming a social recluse? At least then no one will ask questions.”
“Sorry, not really.”
“Grammar buff? Maybe that will help.”
“No. Just no.”
“Okay then, I think we're done. Remember, the society has rigorous standards. I can't guarantee you'll get in. So now, I think you're done. If you're looking to buy a muse I can direct you to...”
“Wait, I thought the society was open to everyone. What the heck are these questions for anyways?”
“Your welcome topic. You're welcome.”
And so it begins.
