Vesper is 15 and restless.
She wants a new best friend, a new guitar, new everything. The night before today she went to a party, at the moment she is not exactly sure what happened but her blond hair was tied into messy plaits and, reader let me tell you, Vesper never wears plaits.
She also found herself in a foreign bed, in a foreign room with a hideous Marilyn Manson poster on the ceiling. Sitting next to her was a boy with a bad case of acne and had reminiscence of his hair gel on a pillow. On a mattress next to her is a girl with a fire of red hair that she roughly remembers from her maths class. She is lying on a boys chest, face smeared with pink lipstick into a wonky grin.
Then she looked at herself. Surprisingly, her fingers were the first thing her gaze went to.
They were smeared messily with permanent marker and the skin around the nail was gnawed off.
But then she saw the rest of her body, she was naked, to begin with, her legs and arms sprawled aimlessly on the mattress. But she noticed that her body was not all the pale pink of her skin, some of it was ink.
Horrified she stood up and looked at herself in the mirror, writer had conveniently written the writing backward so she could read it.
Written in a bearably readably style, Stretching out along her legs and torso were the words “soon to be on youtube.”
Oh no.
However, the second line seems strange and kinda out of place. You got a bit of your word usage and grammar wrong. Also, maybe you should use more of your MC's name instead of "she", so as to be less repetitive.
