An excerpt of my book two, first chapter. It's titled "Death of a Major Player." Wrote it late at night, so it needs some proofing eyes! May need a wee bit of back story for this story to make total sense (link in signature). PDF version downloadable at the bottom, as always.
------------
It stopped raining. They were in the middle of a park—one of Lower Town’s veiled entrances.
His flesh was an angry red where the threaded ropes viciously bit into his skin. Hands bound behind his back. Duct tape wrapped mercilessly around his mouth. His clothes were ripped, burned away by cigarette butts, or muddied from where he’d been kicked and shoved.
Two robed kidnappers held him upright, dangling the boy slightly off the ground by the scruff of his shirt.
On the opposite side of them was a bold faced woman, regal in appearance and mighty in presence. Her clothes and long flowing hair was unceremoniously plastered to her face. She’d obviously been waiting in the rain a long while.
Her eyes were lit up with murderous intent.
They probably tried to extract some information from him, she thought to herself, staring at the boy and his captors. Information about me…
“I didn’t think you’d show,” the one on the left mocked in a raspy yet distinctly female whisper, “risking your life just for this garbage? How unbefitting.” The kidnapper threw her prisoner into a growing puddle of muddy rainwater a few feet away.
It had just recently stopped raining, so the concrete was still waterlogged. The kid made a splash as he landed, struggling to clear his face of the murky water, despite his bindings. He was finally able to roll on his back, narrowly escaping drowning in a puddle.
“Electricity doesn’t do so well in the rain!” The kidnappers laughed with each other, as if they’d just discovered the funniest joke in the world.
That gave the kid the perfect opportunity to gaze into the woman’s eyes. He may have been bound and gagged, but they hadn’t blindfolded him. The woman’s murderous stare softened when her eyes met his. The boy stared back just as intently—into the eyes of his master, his guardian, his savior. He tried to express as much emotion as he could through his eyes to her.
Apology.
Grief.
Sorrow.
Finality.
He knew he was going to die here. He wouldn’t let her die, too. Not for someone as stupid and weak as me.
The woman caught his desperate look—the feelings pouring from his glistening azure blue eyes, and responded with a look all her own. A smirk, full of her resolve, her determination.
The boy closed his eyes and turned his head, breaking contact. Tears streamed down his cheeks, mixing with the muddy water on his face. She’s going to try and save me. He didn’t want to be saved. He really didn’t want to be saved. He knew what powers his master had… but he could also feel the raw power his captors had as well.
And so he silently willed her to disappear. To run away, and leave him to his fate alone.
Please don’t waste your time on me. Please save yourself. Leave me. He clenched his fists, hoping his thoughts would do the impossible by somehow reaching her. I don’t deserve your kindness. I’m not worth it. I’m not worth it!
Deep down he was kind of happy. Happy that such a powerful person had taken such a keen interest in him, when even his own family had shunned him, banishing him to walk the streets alone for the first six years of his life. Aurora found him and raised him. For the next ten years she cared for him like a son. She was the only person that had ever cared about how he felt, or what he was thinking. The only person that had ever treated him like a person, and not a piece of trash.
And he was about to repay her by getting her killed.
If he wasn’t gagged, he’d have yelled, screamed, shouted nasty things, anything to get her to leave him. But even if he had… she wouldn’t have budged. She’d still try her hardest to save him.
He peaked out at her out of the corner of his eye, as if he didn’t deserve to catch a glimpse of such a magnificent creature.
A god shouldn’t be treated like this!
It was truly a bittersweet moment.
The woman returned her eyes to the two enemies that stood to the boy’s left. Their laughter was dying down. Her eyes resumed their ominous glow, murder written all over her face.
“Ooh, scary,” the female kidnapper chuckled. “Oh! I get it! I know why you’re so mad!” She lowered her voice, as if she were telling someone a dirty secret. “Is this little brat your heir, Aurora?”
Aurora took a step forward. “I can take you both. At once.”
The other kidnapper snorted. He was definitely male. “Really?” He removed his hood. “How about now?”
“You!” Aurora hissed.
He grinned a yellow-toothed grin. “Hello cousin.”
“You slimy bastard. You died!”
“I almost did, yeah. Nice try back there in Paris though. It almost worked.” He walked over to Garic and squatted down on his haunches, pushing Garic’s face back into the mud. “And how’s your brother now days, hmm?” He asked, as if he were passing an old friend on the street, and not killing someone. “I hear someone kicked him one real good. Everyone around you is dying, Aurora. Why is that?”
“None of your business, Fiyre.” She muttered, clenching her fists.
“Ooh, she called you by your real name!” The other kidnapper snickered.
“Ah, good good. Sounds nice.” He nodded a few times, ignoring his partner. After a few moments he pulled Garic’s face out of the mud, by his hair. The boy was gasping desperately for breath, spitting out mud between sobs. Fiyre returned his attention to Aurora. “So. You think you can take two Apostles… at the same time, in a fight? Hah. Even for a god, that’s conceited. How do you wanna do this?”
Aurora grinned ferociously. “Like this.” She flashed to Garic’s side at the speed of light, right in the middle of the two Apostles. They each assumed fighting stances, bringing out their Landlords.
Aurora crouched low, calling to her very own Landlord, Erasmus. Instead of appearing as a staff, her Landlord came to her as a thirty-inch stainless steel African blackwood katana-style short sword, housed in a curly maple sheath. She grabbed it out of the air. There was a black and silver banner flowing from the edge of the blade, like a tail, with the name Aurora embossed in pearly white letters.
“Dual manifestation?” Fiyre asked. Aurora only leered in response, tapping the fallen Garic, who was now on his knees behind her, on the shoulder. All of his restraints fell to the ground or simply burned away into nothingness. Steam rose from his clothes in torrents, as the electricity instantly dried him. “Drop your weapon, Aurora,” Fiyre cooed, “You don’t wanna to do this.” The other kidnapper came to stand by his side.
[Continued in part two]
Naah it was really really good! You clearly know who your characters are very well, and they were revealed at just the right pace through this first part. I also like the setting - very well described - and the fact that as a reader I don't yet really know what's going on. I love a good mystery!
