On music

This was written in a dash for a friend who needed to cram a poem and was unable to.XD So it is rough. Title suggestions, por favor?
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Fear not the dangers of the world,
They cannot fight against us;
The notes that spring from guitar strings
Will tear them all to pieces.

Fear not the darkness of the world,
What need have we of star shine?
When subtle tunes that call the moon
Will shower us with moonshine.

Fear not the beasts that lurk all ‘round,
For we shall win against them;
All bad dreams will tear at seams
When struck by our rhythm.

Only let us fear one thing,
The solemn, heavy silence;
Let us sing, our voices ring
Whatever else may happen.

Hiya! I'm Rosey and I'll be your reviewer today.

So, yes, this is rough. I found myself disliking the repetition of "fear not," especially for the first two stanzas since there's only a one-word difference between the two. The flow felt a bit inconsistent, since your middle two stanzas have an A B C B rhyme scheme when the first and fourth stanzas don't.

The theme here felt a bit thin; I couldn't really figure out what the poem was about without looking very closely at each line. I think that if you focused less on line and stanza length, and more on the poem, then this would be better.

Overall, the concept is good, but like you said it is rough.

PM me with questions.

~Rosey

Knightly Angel! ^^ Haven't reviewed anything of yours in a while, though I have read a lot of your poetry and come to the conclusion that I really love it. When it comes to the rhythmic, more traditional poetry with rhymes and stanzas, yours is some of the best on the site (in my opinion).

Fear not the darkness of the world,
What need have we of star shine?
When subtle tunes that call the moon
Will shower us with moonshine.

a.) This stanza rhymes so obviously, where none of the other really do, except maybe the third. This just stands out. I'm not necessarily averse to the idea of rhyming in this poem, but I think it needs to be done more consistently. Like, you have the lovely inner rhymes of 'spring' and 'guitar strings' which I adore. I'd love to see some more of those inner rhymes, because rhyming is so much more than the last words in two lines sounding the same.

b.) I don't like how the first line in this is so similar to the first line in the previous stanza. And then in the third and fourth, the pattern isn't there anymore. I'd suggest only using "Fear not the ___ of the world" once.

c.) Also, the second line in this stanza is kind of a tongue-twister. When the eye reads it the words get all jumbled up, because you slightly inverted the subject and verb. It just becomes a roadblock that we stumble over, although once you take a second glance, it does make sense. I'd suggest rephrasing.

When struck by our rhythm.

It's so wonderfully ironic that the one line about rhythm is too short to fit with the rest of the poem's established rhythm! xD I have no idea whether or not this was intentional or not, and I'm having a hard time deciding whether or not I like this little error. Given the context of the line itself, it seems almost appropriate-- but then again it does throw off your flow. I'm not sure. You'll need a second opinion. ^_~

Only let us fear one thing,
The solemn, heavy silence;
Let us sing, our voices ring
Whatever else may happen.

I wanted this to have a rhyme somewhere. >_> The end seems to fall flat after two stanzas that do rhyme, like your missing a word or something. Either have rhymes in each stanza, or no rhymes at all. My preference. Otherwise, readers feel like the poem isn't really finished. There's no closing here, in the sounds.

So, overall, another lovely poem. You're main issue is inconsistency with your rhymes, with your rhythms, and with some patterns you begin to establish but don't carry all the way through. Be careful about that. If something appears more than once, but not every-time, it feels like a piece of the poem is missing. Incomplete, you know? ^_^

Otherwise, my last suggestion would be to rethink your capitalization. I've always thought that capitalizing every line makes a poem look a little stiff. Perhaps just capitalize every new sentence?

PM me for anything! ^^

~Evi

Hi there!

This was not bad, but as Rosey mentioned, I didn't like the repetition of 'fear not.'

Nitpicks:

KnightlyAngel09 wrote:
Fear not the dangers of the world,
They cannot fight against us;
The notes that spring from guitar strings
Will tear them all to pieces.

Fear not the darkness of the world,
What need have we of star shine?
When subtle tunes that call the moon
Will shower us with moonshine.

I find the 'moon' use here a bit repetitive.

Fear not the beasts that lurk all ‘round,
For we shall win against them;
All bad dreams will tear at seams This line is a bit confusing. Try rephrasing it or replacing 'seams' with other words.
When struck by our rhythm.

Only let us fear one thing,
The solemn, heavy silence; Solemn, heavy silence of what? Elaborate.
Let us sing, our voices ring It'll be better if it was put this way: "Let us sing, let our voices ring.
Whatever else may happen. The last line didn't really suit; it sounded a bit abrupt as well.

You already have a good concept, but try organizing your ideas before putting them into stanzas. And for the title, I would suggest a phrase that shows how powerful music can be. ('Power Of Music' would sound slightly corny though xD)

Overall, not bad, but it needs revising.
Keep writing!

I'm not to fond of the repeating of the "Fear not," however I did like it. Some of the rhyming could use some work! I love the last stanza!