Beautiful Soul

A beautiful soul,
loving and giving.
For a friend,you'd give your all.
Your curse is your beautiful soul,
for our world is foul.
love and give;
care and forgive;
The World takes It all,
'til you've nothing left.

Believe me, I know.

My spirit broke,
My soul was trampled,
I gave,
and gave some more.
It was my curse, as it is yours.
When I thought I had nothing left,
Alas! the World gave back.
It gave me back my smile,
It is my turn to take.

It took time, but now I know;

Although our World is foul,
It has plenty of souls.
As beautiful as You and Me.

Alrighty! Well I like the concept of giving and the way you used it. I'm not one to pick on grammar because if i'd probably make it worse if i did. So onto the writing. i find it very repetitive. Perhaps it was your purpose but I feel like it so much so that there is really only a few ideas and they are simply repeated over and over to create a poem. For example:

esteria wrote:loving and giving.

concept repeated 3 times

esteria wrote:you'd give your all

esteria wrote:The World takes It all,

esteria wrote:'til you've nothing left.

esteria wrote:When I thought I had nothing left

i imagine if all of something is taken that is is inevitable you have nothing left. all of these statements say the same thing really and they are throughout.

esteria wrote:for our world is foul.

you repeated this twice perhaps for dramatic effect but i think if you are going to repeat you should make it a little incognito and use different words perhaps.

esteria wrote:Believe me, I know

this line i find unnecessary entirely. you know about it because you writing about it. to say this you take away a lot of the creativity of the poem. its like writing something very descriptive and then saying in the end what it is. if your description is good enough then you should need statements like this. also to make the line individual away from the poem makes it very dominate as if it were important but then the words aren't strong like individual lines should be.

i suppose thats it. i hope this wasn't discouraging. keep working at it!!

Hiya! I'm Rosey and I'll be your reviewer today.

This poem has its strong points. I particularly liked the third stanza. However, the first and final ones felt rather detached and thin. Mostly, the sixth stanza. I think that because you introduced a contradicting idea at the end of the third stanza, and in the sixth you didn't take as much time as you should have to fully explain it.

I liked the rather sudden twist you had in stanza one. At first, I thought you weren't explaining yourself properly, but you did which was a pleasant surprise.

Overall, I just find the ending is thin here and needs some expanding. Otherwise, I like this poem.

PM me with any questions.

~Rosey

Hey there!

I thought this poem had a really nice concept. However, I didn't like some parts, and I'll emphasize it here -

esteria wrote:Abeautiful soul,
loving and giving.
For a friend,you'd give your all.
Your curse is your beautiful soul,
for our world is foul.
love and give;
care and forgive;
The World takes It all,
'til you've nothing left.

Believe me, I know.

My spirit broke,
My soul was trampled,
I gave,
and gave some more.
It was my curse, as it is yours.
When I thought I had nothing left,
Alas! the World gave back.
It gave me back my smile,
It is my turn to take.

It took time, but now I know;

Although our World is foul,
It has plenty of souls.
As beautiful as You and Me.

Too many repetitions. I'd suggest you replace them with other synonyms/words. If you're trying to rhyme, please don't - it limits the ideas you're trying to express. Trust me, try free verse.

Anyway, it was a nice read, but it could use some improvement. Don't give up, keep writing!