First Love

When I was first scrolling the form yours caught my eye first. All these reviews, and I thought 'it must be good!' And I wasn't dissipointed! The flow was the best I have read to day and the rhythem was great also. It was short which is always a plus in my book since it means you didn't ramble and you know what you want to convey to the audience. You can connect with the your reader and make them feel like they have fallen in love with their best guy friend(though I personally havn't) My favortie line was this:

perhaps it's love; fallen astray.

I don't know why maybe it's the word phrase or maybe it's the fancy puntuation that I can't use who knows? I give this two thumbs up !

I like that poem

Ooh, very nice. This poem flows beautifully, and the rhythm is excellent. I can definitely tell that this is a personal poem, bless your heart for what you are/had been going through.

Good job!

I think it's ok but needs somethings to change not a lot. I like that it is related to things that happen to everyday people. It's an interesting poem just and more to it. I think you write good poems just from reading this one. It was a little bit confusing reading it so fix that up and then it should be good.

this poem really explaines about love for someone. this reminds me of when i asked my gf out lol good job and good luck wit da poem.

Hi! Gahks here, and I'll be reviewing your poem today.

For a start, I'd like to say well done for taking your first steps on the journey of writing poetry! Love being a common subject for many poets (in fact, some would argue that love and death are the two topics any poet must tackle before they can call themselves poets), I appreciate the angle on you take on this. Most first-time love poets talk about the act of love itself, and the fact that this concentrates more on the potential for love makes this one stand out from the rest. =)

Like the vast majority of poets here, you've chosen to rhyme, and this probably was influenced by associating song lyrics with poetry. But keep in mind that poetry doesn't HAVE to rhyme! Experiment with free verse, but don't lose that musical ear you've got - it might become very useful.

The other thing I'd say (and you're not alone, this goes for most poetic novices) is to read lots and lots of poetry. This will help you to connect with the world at a poetic level. There is potential for poetry in everything - you just have to make it convincing and believable to us readers. I would suggest starting with Sylvia Plath or Seamus Heaney, as they're fairly accessible, and reading them will show you how to shape and craft your work. Most importantly, I hope you'll discover the gift of imagery to a writer. At the moment, your poem lacks strong similes or metaphors, but we can work on that. Just keep reading and keep writing!

Hope this helps!

Gahks

I feel your sentiments, dear! It's a common occurrence for friends to get attracted to one another. I guess a lot of people can relate to this.

Perhaps you can experiment with imagery, rhyme and form a bit more, but otherwise it was a likable poem. :]