Letters 2 everyone/nobody

It only looks good on Word you'll see what I mean...I think I wrote it after drinking a whole can of Sars. Sars makes me go LOOOOOOOOOPY. Its like a greenie/tree-hugger thing but it turned out how I wanted. Of course, I didn't plan it... it was just an impromptu make it up as you go along thing.

Hello;
I suppose I should remind you of the two to one ratio... but I won't.
I liked you letter. One one hand, I can see how the interesting fonts and such move you through the letter. On the other hand, this can be seen by some as gimmicky.

You’ve moved trees and
species to places they were never supposed to exist.
You have stolen, strayed, pulverised, killed, submerged your heads in lead and ‘plastic’, heated things in microwaves, cooked artificials in frying pans and done things to yourself under the knife to look more like your ideal plastic lump.
I liked this... stanza? The most. I don't understand why an angel would care about the moon; except maybe that it's a gift from god that's not meant to be defaced with flags and other such nonsense.
And smart my old bum doesn't sound like an angel saying. Maybe,
"Smart" my golden harp!
Just a suggestion.
Other than that; pretty interesting.
Is it going to be a start of a story; or was it just an essay-like piece?

It's an arch-angel, and unlike other angels arch-angels are not just for flying around worshiping God. Arch-angels are much more in the now, and they actually do things. In my personal veiw, an arch-angel might very well leave this letter lying around for anyone to see on a page ripped out of an ordinary lined book, scribbled in pen.

Hey Durriedog. ^^ Evi here.

First of all. The 2:1 ratio, which Empress almost brought up, is the major rule of YWS. That means that, for every one piece you post to be reviewed, you must have done at least two critiques on other people's work. Pretty soon, though, the ratio is going to increase to 5:1, which means five reviews to every one posted piece, and so on.

Secondly-- I think this would be best moved into 'other'. It is fiction, I suppose, but it's not really a short story and hardly a novel or chapter. If you agree, you can ask a mod to move it, but if you'd rather just leave it here (where it will most likely get more reviews anyway, lol) you can disregard this.

Finally, the actual letter-- I did like it! =D It was an interesting thought, having angels that go around criticising humankind instead of just exalting God or whatever it is they typically do. However, some points--

~ You went a tad crazy with the fonts. >_> I understand that it gives the piece a certain 'effect', which was (I admit) pretty cool! However. In the future, this would get annoying and should be avoided like the plague in any longer, more traditional pieces of writing.

~ I think this could work very well as a prologue-ish thing, though! Really, it's great characterization of this particular spunky angel, and it would be a cool, different way to open a novel. You could introduce a human picking up the note, or one of the writer's fellow angels reprimanding him for being so temperamental and hard on the humans. Either way, just noting that this would quite the interesting first page to open up to.

~ I don't like the reference to the moon either. It seems random and thrown in-- like the angel is just looking for something to complain about. It doesn't seem relevant. I would change it to go with the 'attacking industrial objects and materialistic wants' theme. Maybe pollution, even.

All in all, a quirky little piece that would be hilarious turned into something more! ^^ PM me for anything.

~Evi