Do You Remember?

KayKel16 · 2009-08-26T17:50:09Z

The world spins in deathly circles and I can barely see through the foggy windows. I can’t see what’s happening as the car spins out of control onto a grass filled meadow. Suddenly, it all stops and time has slowed down, so slow I can picture each and every tree in my sight with full detail. How the bark layers on and on each one more new than the last, the green leaves that are slowly turning fall colors of orange and red, ambivalent. I can see it all, each passing by as I feel my life coming to an end. I hear a crash, and then it all goes black without a scream. “Take a breath, for me. Take a breath! ” Someone has said to me, their voice filled with worry and anger. “Annabelle, please.” Their voice quieter than before, a plead, more than a command. I try breathing in the best I can, when nothing happens, I struggle even more. Open your mouth; suck in the cool night air. Do it, now! I thought to myself suddenly becoming agitated I couldn’t do as told. I try once more at the action I’ve known all my life, ever since I was born without even succeeding. “Do something!” Someone screams, not to me, I can tell that much. “I am sorry, I cannot help you. She has to do this on her own.” A heavenly, smooth, rehearsed voice replied back to him. “Help her, please.” He whispers. “I cannot.” The heavenly voice says once more, his voice steadily receding from wherever I was. “Tell her of things only known between you. A trick, which may help.” “Annabelle Sophia, do you remember that night I first met you? Where the stars twinkled above, and we danced till the stars receded and the sun arrived?” Ryan. I fixate my mind to show me an image of the one I love. The brown haired, green eyed boy smiled back at me with a lopsided grin and a sparkle in his eye. I silently remember that night, where I first met him. Where we danced under the stars for hours. A pang of sorrow and happiness combined floods through me. Breath, please breathe. I need him more than anything, please! I told myself. I so desperately tried to breathe once again, but it has completely failed to respond. “Or maybe that early morning where you and Riley stayed up all night and walked the neighborhood and you ran into me? Then we all went to Benny’s where we ordered dinner for breakfast?” He laughs at the fond memory. “Remember?” Yes, I remember ,I thought to myself. “How about that school trip to Europe, where it rained all day our entire stay, but didn’t let water ruin our weeks there? I remember that’s where I first kissed you.” He sighs. “Do you remember?” “I know you do, but it was raining and you decided to dance in the rain. I stayed behind, and you tried and tried to get me to come with you but I stayed. You giggled and walked into the pouring rain, and started twirling around and around.” Right as always my dear Ryan , I thought. “You looked beautiful with your grey sweats and yellow tee-shirt, bright blue rain coat atop with your mocha curls a mess. I blinked taking it all in and at the same time I ran towards you in the rain and grabbed you and started twirling. We laughed for more than what was necessary, and I leaned in to kiss you. I laughed as you stood on your tippy toes trying to reach me.” I couldn’t take him remembering all of those memories while I was at his lap not even breathing. Okay, let’s try this again. Please breathe , I said to myself. I opened my mouth and sucked in cool air that rushed through me, burning as it went. I released the air back out into the world and let my eyes flutter open. Seeing a tear streaked Ryan, I felt tears well up and release themselves down my cheeks down to the corners of my mouth. “Ryan!” I lifted myself up and held him tight, hardly letting go. “Oh, Annabelle, I knew you’d come back to me! I knew!” He kissed me and held me tight, but slowly releasing me as he see's I've winced from whatever injury I had. “Ryan?” I ask. My voice was barely a whisper. “Yes, sweetheart?” His green eyes looked deep into my eyes, as if he could see inside my soul and see the feelings I’ve have for him since forever. “I do remember, Ryan. I remember it all.” He smiles and hugs me once more, and I look into those dark green eyes and see the love that really has stayed strong for a mere three years. “I love you.” “As I have done for years.” * Should I keep going? Does it sound like an interesting story beginning? I tried to make it a short story, but to say, I'm not fond of those. So should I continue?

Whitedwarf3821

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Reviews 12

Tue Mar 30, 2010 4:52 pm

Whitedwarf3821 says... · Tue Mar 30, 2010 4:52 pm

Such a cut e story definitly continue writing this it sounds so sweer . I love romance stories they make me remember special events in my life.

"Love is only a chapter in a guy's life , For a girl its the whole book <3 "

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KenClark

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Reviews 6

Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:09 am

KenClark says... · Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:09 am

Wow. I loved it. There were a few minor errors, where your sentences were a bit wordy and didn't flow very well. I liked the idea of all of the memories bringing her back. You were very detailed in describing them, which added to the impact. The emotion between the characters i thought seemed very real. I'm curious about the third character, is it an angel? Continue this! I think it could go places.

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possibleintrovert

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Points 3124

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Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:47 am

possibleintrovert says... · Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:47 am

Yeah, so I almost cried while reading this. Only thing that I have are:

“You looked beautiful with your grey sweats and yellow tee-shirt, bright blue rain coat atop with your mocha curls a mess

I highly doubt anyone would describe another's haircolor like this in a time of panic.

But other than that I don't think you should continue. I like it the way it is. I don't see it going anywhere else. But I think you did a marvellous job anyways.

"I won't quit to become someone's old lady."
-Janis Joplin

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