The good It dose not feel silly. And It is often common with these kind of gothic devil and hell works A really good use of language. A nice blend of whimsical and smart words with a good flow. You really seem to know this genre. You can see that you're good at this kind of work.
The bad Gothic fiction is a very common genre. So making it your own is difficult. I can see a lot of cliches and styles from other famous writers.
Also This feels like it could have been written 60 years ago. It has that kind of style to it. This may hold you back if you want to get published becauce most people relates better to modern fiction. I'm not at all saying to change your style, it is important to stay true to it. It is just something to take into consideration. Does the devil represent something? It might be a nice idea to relate this to a contempuary issue. Just and idea.
Beside some thiings I really like this peice. You have a lot of talent Keep writing like you mean it Vera
