short storie

How long have i been out here? Will i ever find out... Water creeps over the edge of my make shift raft of a decaying, burnt piece of driftwood from my ship, a lost ship. I might sink. I might die. It is so hot, I'm so thirsty... why is this happening to me? I don't know... I am drifting to sleep under a bleeding sun.

Well, first I'd like to comment on the mispelling of the word "story" in your title. Might want to fix that

On the content, there isn't much here to go on, and what is here feels slightly lifeless. It's a bunch of muddled thoughts, none of which hold a whole lot of value to the reader.

Clearly you're character is on a piece of wood that remained from a shipwreck, but... that's not exactly a story.

My suggestion would be to expand, in order to truly create a short story you must have a beginning, middle, and end. At this point you have a few thoughts. Create a story. How did the ship sink? What happened to the other people on board? Does your character even know? Did they have family on board?

It feels like a very small clip of a much greater story, and the clip isn't even all that interesting or really even all that relevant to the plot.

The next thing I'd like to mention is your lack of proper grammar, punctuation and spelling. It's crucial to any story to use proper grammar, sure in creative writing you can fudge some things, but not capitalizing you're "I's"? C'mon. That's just lazy on your part, and it tells the reader that you don't actually care about your story at all. And if you don't care, why should we?

Hope this helps

OverEasy

It's a very small piece. Though it is easy to tell what is going on, that's not always the best thing.

You spelled story wrong. There isn't 'ie' at the end, but a 'y'.

You need to make you I's capitols. When they are lower case, it makes it seem less appealing to the reader.

This story sounds like a small scene from the movie "Cast Away". It is actually just like it.

I noticed on one part, you wrote "I might sink. I might die." Sinking and dieing are pretty much the same things . . . Just saying.

You could do so much with this story, as OverEasy said before. Make it a story, add scenes. Make flashback or something.

Overall, the piece was quite dull. The only part I liked, was when you described the sun on the last sentance. Bleeding sun . . . That just sounds cool.

It was a good story, but it was very short. As your title says. Speaking of the title, you spelled story wrong. Okay, as I said, it is very short, but I do have a few nitpicks.

How long have i been out here? Will i ever find out...

Okay, I'm just going to rewrite the story and bold the corrections.
How long have I been out here? Will I ever find out...?

Water creeps over the edge of my make shift raft of a decaying, burnt piece of driftwood from my ship, a lost ship.

Make-shift. Not make shift. Turn the comma into a semi colon.

I might sink. I might die.

Change the period into a semi colon.

It is so hot, I'm so thirsty... why is this happening to me?

I'm going to rewrite it again.
It is so hot;I'm so thirsty... Why is this happening to me?

Characters: I see the writing style you are using so you don't really need to describe the character.
Scenery: Well, again, with the style you are using you don't need to describe it.
Overall: That was great! I really believed it was a stranded man! I give it a 9.7 out of 10.0!

I hope my critic was help!!! PM me if you have any questions or want to critic any of my stories.