Words of a Conceited Man

This was just terrible. I was expecting to read the words of a conceited man, and instead come to fine that I've been had by an introspective satirist. Not funny. We conceited people are a proud race, and that means never admitting failure, which the last stanza clearly does.

I mean, good looking out.

-Barrett

Haha this poem was funny. I know because my brother talks like that all the time, albeit as a joke. Overall I can't say I really get the point of the whole thing, but I mean, what kind of poetry has a point? Seriously! Oh well I'm off to drown my sorrows in Dr. Pepper! Good say to you SIR!!! *slams door*

hmm...
the rhymes gnoe right out of me...

this poem reminds of some of my own work...
I don't know about this, it's based on words of some jerk...

some big headed up-shoot
who wants people to kiss his glutes
while stands there with his tophat smile and salutes...

I really just don't know...
I think I'll read it again...I must dissect this foe

Well, this is definitely and interesting story line... very original and appealing.
You picked a some wicked words and had a excellent idea to how you were going to end, but for me, it didn't really work. The last words didn't fit with the rest of the poem. It seemed as id you rushed the ending and just put whatever for the ending and didn't pause to think it out clearly or make it organized. You probably could have made the ending a little more interesting and come up with some compelling words to make you want to keep reading, then get to ending and have the reader be able to say, "Ahh..." after, instead of, "...", which was what I did. Don't get me wrong, the poem was great, but I think that with a better ending, your readers will be more satisfied with the read.
Other than that one little minor, it was amazing and well worked on.
Shanan

I loved how this was written. You have very consistent and capturing rhythm here from beginning to end. I like how you mixed up a few words from what we would usually say. Like [q]gents and ladies[/q] instead of "ladies and gents". This made it stand out. It captured my attention. I also liked your repetition of [q]I shall raise my hat, And Salute[/q] that hooked the poem together nicely. You're ending smoothly pulled the piece to an end, so it didn't "jolt"(for lack of better word). Altogether, this was an extraordinary piece. Keep writing!

~Lukan