The Meeting.

The motel was stuffy.
It was run down, it was in the middle on New York, it was surrounded with drunken people who seemed too keen to get into eachothers pants tonight.
Kathryn Taylor, twenty year old professional theif, stood outside the motel and sighed.
'Hey there gorgeous, you up for a night you wont forget?' The voice was slurred, disorientated.
Kathryn turned with a bored look to her face as she faced the man who continued to freakishly grin at her like she was water and he was parched.
'No.' Her voice was flat, empty from expression and she walked a few steps forward and opened the motel door leaving the drunk, lowlifes to themselves.
Inside it smelled. Like a musky smell that made you want to pinch your nostrils.
The mauve carpet was stained with numerous liquids, some Kathryn didnt even want to think about.
The windows were wrapped in dark blue curtains that were also covered with some of the same coloured stains that ruined the carpet.
The check in desk was on the right hand side, the furniture in the lobby has obviously been there for a while, it was tacky and was placing the whole motel look into the poor, cheap and unpopular category.
'Can i help you?' The lady sounded dull.
Kathryn cocked her head to the side and studied the woman until the woman stiffened and turned away from her.
She rolled her eyes and strolled over the still uncomfortable woman,'Room 134. Where?'
The woman looked up, her blue eyes engulfed in Kathryns deep brown ones. 'Im sorry, i cannot give that information out.'
Kathryn rolled her eyes and glared at the woman.'Look, im busy and i need that room number, you will give it to me, so why dont you give it voluntarily before i force it out of you.'
The deadly words made the woman bow her head, then gulp as she reluctantly looked her Kathryn again,'Floor 2. Right corridor, third door down.'
With the information given, Kathryn crossed the musky room and called for the elavator, feeling the womans stare bore into her back.
'You know, sometimes, declining someone a room can lead to severe consequences.' Kathryn spoke evilly and clearly for the woman to hear, as she stepped into the elavator. 'Keep that in mind.' She finished as the doors closed, seperating Kathryn smirk from the now frightened motel owner.
The trip to the second floor was short, the lift was small and hot. The wooden floor was split in places revealing the metal screws underneath.
The doors opened again and a very dark and eerie hallway outstretched itself in front of Kathryn.
The only light was from the lamps that flickered from the corners.
She stepped forward and turned right, counting the doors carefully.
The carpet was the mauve carpet that covered the flooring in the lobby.
The walls were a sickening yellow colour that looked like it was originally white.
134.
Kathryn smiled satisfied and knocked once.
'Finally.'
Kathryn opened the door in a swift movement and was swallowed in darkness.
It was too dark to make anything out but all she did was smile. She shut the door and stepped forward once, then leaned to the right and switched on a light.
The floor was a grey colour, the walls were the same fake yellow in the corridors.
The desks were in the same condition as the lobby desk, the bed has obviously been slept in, the sheets were revolting.
Kathryn glanced at the window which was shut off by a thick grey blind.
'Kathryn.'
She took her time meeting his eyes. Scimming over every detail in the room before looking at him.
The dirt on the walls, the cobwebs in the corners, the stains on the ceiling, the dust on the cabinets.
'Look at me.' His voice was demanding.
Kathryn took a breath and looked at him. His green menacing eyes were piercing.
'So beautiful you are.' His voice didnt soften, it was the same ordering sound that Kathryn hated.
'Where is it?' She asked avoiding any distraction from the conversation she wanted to begin.
'Ah, now, there has been a complication.' His grey hair was swept back, he was sat comfortably on the bed, not even stirring from the deathly glare Kathryn was giving him.
'I dont have time for complications, i need it now.'
He breathed out and smirked at her, still keeping his eyes on hers he stood to his feet.'I must inform you that its importance to us is more greater than yours.'
Kathryn made a soundless laugh,'Amuse me Jacob. I had it first.'
Jacob Reece. The most cunning and sly gang man even known in New York.
'Yes. You had it.' Jacob could see the anger flash across her face.'But very well, you may have it.'
Jacob tossed the file at her and Kathryn caught it quick and silently.
She nodded her head before stepping backwards towards the door.
'But Kathryn, do not think that you are the only one in search for this man.' Jacob warned.
Looking down at the document and back at Jacob, she said,'ill find him.'
'Yes i believe you will. But not without a fight.'
Jacob then waved his hand and turned away signalling there was no more for him to say, and there was no more he wanted to discuss.
Kathryn left the motel with the file in her hand, she had what she needed, she had the information, and she knew there would be a fight, but she had to find Zachary Jay.

First things first: capitalization and spelling. Put spell-check on, capitalize your "I"s, and then the story will be fine.

Sorry.

Hi, SummerMarie! I'm Sunny, and I shall be your reviewer today.

SummerMarie wrote:The motel was stuffy. (Bring this line up.) It was run down, [s]it was[/s] a shabby set of walls in the middle on New York, [s]it was[/s] surrounded with drunken people who seemed too keen to get into eachothers pants tonight.
Kathryn Taylor, twenty-year-old professional [s]theif[/s] thief, stood (How did she stand? Was she annoyed? Tired? Anxious?) outside the motel and sighed.
'Hey there, gorgeous, you up for a night you won't forget?' The voice was slurred, disorientated.
Kathryn turned with a bored look [s]to[/s] on her face as she faced the man who continued to [s]freakishly[/s] grin at her freakishly like she was water and he was parched.
'No.' Her voice was flat, empty from expression and she walked a few steps forward and opened the motel door leaving the drunk[s],[/s] (No comma) lowlifes to themselves.
Inside it smelled. Like a musky [s]smell[/s] odor that made you want to pinch your nostrils. (Bring this line up.) The mauve carpet was stained with numerous liquids, some Kathryn didnt even want to think about. (Bring this one up too.) The windows were wrapped in dark blue curtains that were also covered with some of the same coloured stains that ruined the carpet. (You've been beginning sentences with "the" for about four or five sentences so far. Add a little variety.)
The check in desk was on the right hand side, the furniture in the lobby has obviously been there for a while, it was tacky and was placing the whole motel look into the poor, cheap and unpopular category.
'Can I help you?' The lady sounded dull.
Kathryn cocked her head to the side and studied the woman until the woman stiffened and turned away from her.
She rolled her eyes and strolled over the still uncomfortable woman and said/drawled,'Room 134. Where?'
The woman looked up, her blue eyes engulfed in Kathryn's deep brown ones. 'I'm sorry, I cannot give that information out.' (Maybe make her sound nervous or defensive, since the info is privileged.)
Kathryn rolled her eyes and glared at the woman.'Look, [s]im[/s] I'm busy and I need that room number, you will give it to me, so why don't you give it voluntarily before I force it out of you?'
The deadly words made the woman bow her head, then gulp as she reluctantly looked her Kathryn again,'Floor 2. Right corridor, third door down.'
With the information given, Kathryn crossed the musky room and called for the elavator, feeling the woman's stare [s]bore[/s] (Here you could put "baring", but to add some voice, maybe try something like "drilling a hole") into her back.
'You know, sometimes, declining someone a room can lead to severe consequences.' Kathryn spoke evilly and clearly for the woman to hear, as she stepped into the elavator. 'Keep that in mind.' She finished as the doors closed, seperating Kathryn smirk from the now frightened motel owner.
The trip to the second floor was short, the lift was small and hot. The wooden floor was split in places revealing the metal screws underneath.
The doors opened again and a very dark and eerie hallway outstretched itself in front of Kathryn.
The only light was from the lamps that flickered from the corners.
She stepped forward and turned right, counting the doors carefully.
The carpet was the mauve carpet that covered the flooring in the lobby.
The walls were a sickening yellow colour that looked like it was originally white. (Okay, first of all, these all being with "the" and it's beginning to get annoying. You should go back and change the beginnings of the sentences so they don't get too tedious. and second, make this all one paragraph. You don't need them all to be separate paragraphs, it makes it choppy.)
134.
Kathryn smiled satisfied and knocked once.
'Finally.'
Kathryn opened the door in a swift movement and was swallowed in darkness.
It was too dark to make anything out but all she did was smile. She shut the door and stepped forward once, then leaned to the right and switched on a light.
The floor was a grey colour, the walls were the same fake yellow in the corridors.
The desks were in the same condition as the lobby desk, the bed has obviously been slept in, the sheets were revolting. (Again, same deal: cut the "the"s and make it all one paragraph.)
Kathryn glanced at the window which was shut off by a thick grey blind.
'Kathryn.'
She took her time meeting his eyes. [s]Scimming[/s] Skimming over every detail in the room before looking at him.
The dirt on the walls, the cobwebs in the corners, the stains on the ceiling, the dust on the cabinets.
'Look at me.' His voice was demanding.
Kathryn took a breath and looked at him. His green menacing eyes were piercing.
'So beautiful you are.' (This sounds kind of awkward; the first thing that came into my head was: "Yoda!" because it sounds like backwards-talking. Maybe change it to: "How beautiful you are" or "You are so beautiful.)His voice didn't soften; it was the same ordering sound that Kathryn hated.
'Where is it?' she asked avoiding any distraction from the conversation she wanted to begin.
'Ah, now, there has been a complication.' His grey hair was swept back, he was sat comfortably on the bed, not even stirring from the deathly glare Kathryn was giving him.
'I dont have time for complications, i need it now.'
He breathed out and smirked at her, still keeping his eyes on hers he stood to his feet.'I must inform you that its importance to us is more greater than yours.'
Kathryn made a soundless laugh,'Amuse me, Jacob. I had it first.'
Jacob Reece. The most cunning and sly gang man even known in New York.
'Yes. You had it.' Jacob could see the anger flash across her face.'But very well, you may have it.'
Jacob tossed the file at her and Kathryn caught it quick and silently.
She nodded her head before stepping backwards towards the door.
'But Kathryn, do not think that you are the only one in search for this man.' Jacob warned.
Looking down at the document and back at Jacob, she said,'[s]ill[/s] I'll find him.'
'Yes , I believe you will. But not without a fight.'
Jacob then waved his hand and turned away, [s]signalling[/s] signaling there was no more for him to say, and there was no more he wanted to discuss. (This is redundant. Keep one or the other, but get rid of the one you don't want.)
Kathryn left the motel with the file in her hand; she had what she needed, she had the information, and she knew there would be a fight, but she had to find Zachary Jay.

OVERALL: This was really good; I liked the way you made Kathryn act, so confident and sly, and especially I like the mystery behind the story. I definitely want to read more. But you need to watch your capitalization and punctuation. You hardly never capitalized "I" and you never put apostrophes in contractions like "don't" instead you put "dont". You see? Also, you need to work on your paragraphing, which just helps to make the story flow when read, and also the "the" problem. Keep an eye on those.

PM me with any questions. Hope this helped.

~Sunny