Marble Me

Marble Me

I stand,
learning to pass the minutes
as patiently as possible.
Asking to be seen is not easily done
when faces keep turning from me.
Pleasantries are a rarity
when one cannot speak.
I cannot share,
when you refuse to find.
If... you can really call this hidden.
I only stand behind this ephemeral curtain.
You have but to pull it back
and you will see all of me.
Then you have but to ask,
and you may hear what I have to say.
Until then, I stand here still,
quiet as a statue,
waiting to be found
in the mind’s garden,
watching you pass me by,
again and again.

Hi! I really like this poem and think it sounds very mature and professional. You get the emotion across without sounding whiny or particularly adolescent. There were a couple of false notes for me that I should bring up:

If... you can really call this hidden.

I'm not sure I understand why there's an ellipse here. It's the only place where I felt like the poem went a little overboard and began to feel overwritten. I would suggest taking out that ellipse, but replacing the period at the end of the previous line with a colon or semicolon or dash, to connect the two and make it clearer that one follows the other.

waiting to be found
in the mind’s garden,

The second of these lines sounded a little cliched to me--just the phrasing of the metaphor is too familiar. You might do better to leave the metaphor kind of unspoken: mention the garden, but don't mention that it's the mind. We can figure out on our own that it's not a literal garden, I think, because the allusion is to a statue garden, yes? So why not use the opportunity to add to the atmosphere there? Find an adjective or gerund that works for you to bring out an image--crowded, silent, green, veiled, etc. Choose something that fits with the image you have in your head. I think it would add to this already very moving poem.

Keep writing!

~Stripes

In my eyes, this post needs no help. You completely captured that sensation, and took words that I can't elaborate on right out of my mouth. The title is excellent, and that's what caught my eye at first. Great job!