Meggido Part 2

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WARNING: If you plan on reviewing this I would advise reading the previous piece as it provides valuable background information. Also, if you have read the previous piece then it's only fair to warn you that this Chapter is considerably longer than the Prologue so it can be said that you're in for a long and possibly tough read. :P

Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Any and all comments/criticism/praise is needed and welcome.

Thanks again, and enjoy :D.


Chapter 1

It had been six years since Kira first arrived in Meggido. The new government of Japan had ruled for a total of five years. Each clan shared power in the government and they called themselves the ‘confederation’. In those five years the second wave of Japanese settlers had arrived in Meggido from the new Japan.

Many of those who arrived were blacksmiths and brokers. The blacksmiths would offer Japanese steel weaponry to their clientele – they gained renown in Meggido for their competitive quality. The brokers would find people to buy materials that merchants were offering from Japan and would in turn receive a sizeable portion of the profits.

The Japanese in Meggido were clearly divided into two communities – the wealthier ‘Confederates’ and the ‘Imperialists’. At first the divide caused hatred and conflict between the communities. Then, time was responsible for breeding toleration. Time was said to heal wounds.

Kira’s mother realised the importance of education as soon as her husband left for Japan. Her lack of knowledge and skills made it nearly impossible for her to get a well-paying job. She did not want the same for Kira.

She arranged for Kira to learn how to read and write Arabic. Arabic was the official language of Meggido. On top of this she enrolled him in a Kendo school founded by one of the Japanese settlers. Their noble Japanese lineage demanded some form of schooling in combat. This, she thought, might give him the edge to join the police force or military of Meggido if necessary. She wanted to give him as many options as possible.

It took her a few months to lose the expectations of a luxurious life provided by her fellow Japanese in the slums. Before, she knew little of the realities beyond the walls of her house. Do or die – that was the world she was thrown into. So she adapted, grew smarter and became a seasoned survivor. It took a further few years for her previous identity of nobility to melt into the common identity of a slum-dweller amongst the inhabitants of Ninos de Dios.

The boy grew alongside his mother, he was now eleven years old.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Kira found it difficult to play and make friends with the children of the Imperialists. Kira found them to be either too depressing or too hard-working – of course, this was a generalisation. There are always exceptions. The children of the Confederates were always very cautious or generally unfriendly when it came to making social contact with the Imperialists.

This led him to make friends with people outside his own community within Ninos de Dios. He would speak in Japanese to his mother and in Arabic to his friends.

Kira and Soto sprinted through the dirty and chaotic streets of Ninos de Dios. The dusty, humid air clung rebelliously to their faces as they dodged people and animals while weaving through small spaces for shortcuts. Kira and Soto’s aim was to reach Tai Pei square.

“Hurry Kira!” Soto panted as Kira begun lagging behind, “Nearly there…”
The boys found themselves behind one of the large shops which made up Tai Pei square. They sidled through an alleyway between two buildings and finally joined the hustle and bustle of the main square.
“How are we going to find Aisha in this crowd?” Soto said as he looked around hopelessly at the daunting market.

The first wave of Chinese settlers named the area Tai Pei, in honour of their leader who had initially proposed travelling to Meggido. Soon, it developed into a commercial hub which mainly catered to Chinese people – a huge variety of Chinese food and wares saw a seemingly endless flow of customers throughout the day. In the middle of the square the settlers had built a bronze statue of Tai Pei on an elevated platform.

But, even though Tai Pei square was the undisputed centre of Chinese activity in Meggido not all the Chinese liked the person. Back in China, there were three main Kingdoms – the coastal Eastern Kingdom, the mountainous Western Kingdom and the tropical Southern Kingdom. Tai Pei hailed from the Eastern Kingdom.

Migrants journeyed from all three Kingdoms to the city with Tai Pei as their leader. They crossed icy mountains, seemingly endless deserts and dark swamps to reach Meggido.
Once they reached the city they realised they needed housing. Tai Pei immediately split the Chinese people and delegated responsibilities.

He told the Westerners to focus on building houses and accommodation for all the people. He told them, “Build the houses now – and you shall be rich later.” And so the Westerners began building houses for themselves and the people.

While the Westerners were building he noticed that much of the Chinese population were going hungry. So, Tai Pei told the Southerners, “Cook for us now – and you shall be rich later.” The Southerners obliged. They began cooking for the Easterners and the Westerners.

Then Tai Pei came to the people of the Eastern Kingdom. “Begin trading and create businesses for yourselves. Become rich now.” The Easterners did so. They made their fortunes trading amongst the merchants of Meggido. And so they contracted the Westerners to build larger houses and they hired the Southerners to prepare feasts and banquets. This continued.

Tai Pei square – built by the Westerners, run by the Southerners, owned by the Easterners. “Let them get rich first – you can get rich later.”

Kira and Soto kept searching through the crowds for Aisha. Finally, they heard her voice. It seemed to rise above the loud chattering of the Chinese crowds.
“Kira! Soto! Over here!” She beckoned them over to the entrance of a weaponry shop. Two gargoyle dragons stood at either side. Each dragon held a short steel dagger in their mouth which pointed towards the entrance. Broadswords, straight swords, maces and axes bedazzled Kira as he peered through into the entrance.

“What took you two so long?” Aisha asked.
Kira and Soto exchanged expressions of irritation and chose not to answer Aisha.
“Anyway,” Aisha continued, “The Chinese are celebrating Tai Pei’s birthday in the square today!”
Kira still didn’t understand why Aisha wanted him and Soto to be there.
“What does that have to do with us?”
“They’re bound to do some big things for him. Like parades and dances…” She paused for a moment and noticed that Kira and Soto seemed totally uninterested in the Chinese cultural experience. “It’s better than spending another day in the slums like we usually do…” Aisha was right; the repetitiveness of daily life could only be cured by variety. The three sat back and observed the hustle and bustle of Tai Pei square, waiting for the celebrations to commence.
“Oh, by the way,” Aisha said, “A friend of mine from Al-Baraka going to be meeting us soon. She’s a little nervous so be nice to her.” Kira and Soto were swung their heads around. They had no idea Aisha had friends in Al-Baraka.
“Who is she?” Soto immediately inquired.
“I told you, she’s a friend.” Aisha teased.
“How did you meet her?” Kira followed.
“I just bumped into her somewhere and we started speaking.”
The conversation paused. Then Kira asked what they, including Aisha, were wondering. “Why is a girl from Al-Baraka meeting us?” Aisha found it difficult to answer this particular question even with her remarkable talent for providing vague details.

Al-Baraka was the wealthiest area in the whole of Meggido. The most successful merchants, businessmen, professionals and highly ranked soldiers lived within the prestigious area. Al-Baraka was Arabic for ‘the blessed’.

In fact the inhabitants were so rich that the King imposed upon them a tax which generated a large portion of his revenue. Every three months each household was made to contribute a specific amount of gold to the royal treasury. The amount was determined by the weight of the lightest family member. Whether it was a child or a dog, the official head of the household would pay the equivalent weight in gold.

One would presume that due to numerous seemingly expensive taxes imposed on the inhabitants of Al-Baraka, the people would struggle to pay what was demanded of them. In actual fact – the taxes were easily paid with nearly no problems and the citizens of Al-Baraka continued to live with enviably huge amounts of wealth at their disposal.

A few years ago, the King had decreed the ‘Beautification of Al-Baraka’ act. The beautification required the massive houses and buildings owned by the inhabitants of Al-Baraka to be remodelled by highly-skilled architects commissioned by the King. The royal architects ensured each building was remodelled uniquely.

Turkish, Greek, Egyptian, Indian, Chinese, Japanese – the list seemed never-ending when one was describing the architecture which was present in Al-Baraka. From afar, the golden domes of the Turkish housing seemed like tears on the higher tier of Meggido. Some houses had rubies, sapphires, emeralds and even diamonds fixed into their walls. On a sunny day, the collections of gem stones on these houses seemed like a cluster of blue, red and green stars on the mountain. Travellers who were originally intending to venture straight past Meggido were swayed by the majesty of the Al-Baraka cluster combined with the golden belt of Jeweller’s street.

In addition to the beautification act the King had passed the ‘Whitewash prohibition’ law. This prohibited any house in Al-Baraka from having its outer walls painted white. The law seemed strange to the architects and though it was adhered to they did not believe the King had been sober when he wrote the law. However, one of the most famous royal architects decided to try his luck.

Raphael was of French descent and had been commissioned by the King to oversee many projects. He was regarded as the King’s most trusted architect. Raphael was commissioned to build a cluster of Egyptian houses and insisted that ‘they would not possess the splendour his majesty desires without white outer walls’. Without hesitation the King of Meggido ordered Raphael’s right hand to be severed and his left eye to be plucked.

The half-blind Frenchman was spared execution due to the favour he possessed. However, the King continued commissioning Raphael with projects – the half-blind architect served as a warning to others who would dare question their King’s will. People could not imagine the severity of the punishments the King would use against people who did not possess the favour Raphael once did – and neither did they want to.

It was unclear as to why the King demanded strict enforcement of the law until a few months after Raphael’s punishment. A portion of his army had been sent to fight a war against a Prince in India who had offended him in the earlier months. His soldiers had brought back materials which would enable him to build the ultimate symbol of power on Earth.
Aisha continued pondering how to answer Kira’s question. Why did a girl from Al-Baraka want to meet slum children from Ninos de Dios?
“She’s just… different.” Aisha answered.
“What do you mean ‘different’?” Soto pried.
“She’s just not like the other girls I’ve come across from Al-Baraka. I hate the girls from Al-Baraka.”
“We lived in a big house in Japan.” Kira said whilst looking up at Al-Baraka.
“Was it as big as the houses in Al-Baraka?” Aisha seemed interested.
“Yes.”
“Can you tell me what it’s like to live in a big house?”
“You have lots of servants. They do everything for you.”
“How come you aren’t rich in Meggido then?” Soto asked.
“My dad went away one day. Then the money stopped coming.”
Then, there was a long pause.
“I used to live in a big house as well.” It was now Soto’s turn to recall some of the vague memories of his childhood. They were all roughly eleven years old and could only recall fragmented memories of a comfortable past life in their homelands.
After generations of living in Southern Egypt, Soto’s family had a thoroughly African complexion. Soto’s father was a well-known, high ranking and honest soldier in the Egyptian army. The first Pharaoh he had served was also a man of integrity and ruled his people with justice.

However, after the death of the first Pharaoh his successor did not rule the same way. Corruption seeped into the Egyptian administration and government officials freely committed heinous crimes with no fear of repercussions. Soto’s father constantly presented these problems to the Pharaoh and was one of the few soldiers and nobility who tried to combat the corruption of the new King’s government.

The governor of Soto’s province saw the soldier as a threat. And so, he came up with a plot to be rid of Soto’s father. The governor called the soldier to his house one day and told him that he, along with other soldiers and noblemen, had been chosen by Pharaoh to go on a diplomatic mission to Meggido.

Apparently, the King of Meggido wanted to share military intelligence with the Egyptians as well as form further trade agreements with the new Pharaoh. The governor gave Soto’s father enough money to take him and his family to Meggido. When the soldier asked the governor why there was no money for a return trip the governor assured that the King of Meggido would pay for the return trip. Believing the governor, Soto’s father took his wife and children with him to the Kingdom of Meggido.
Upon arrival, he realised the trick which had been played on him. The King of Meggido denied any knowledge of the diplomatic mission and furthermore, denied them the funds to travel back to Egypt. Soto’s father had to enrol as a city guard in Meggido to feed his family in the subsequent months. However, because of his previous high-ranking position in the Egyptian army – the Meggido army officials were vary of promoting him to higher ranks in case he was a spy for the Egyptians. The ex-soldier was now a poorly paid guard in the city of Meggido. Soto’s father still hears news of the ever swelling crime and corruption problems in his homeland from Egyptian travellers and merchants.
When they did live in the Egypt, Soto had a large house with servants to do everything – just as Kira had described. What Soto missed the most in his homeland though was not the big house and the multitude of servants. From an early age Soto’s mother used to read him stories from the hieroglyphics on papyrus. The hieroglyphics had stories of the Gods and Goddesses of Egypt.
The story of the underworld was what fascinated Soto the most. His mother told him that when a man dies his soul would be guided into the underworld by Anubis, the god of mummification. Then his heart would be weighed against a feather. A man’s heart was supposed to carry the weight of his sins and good deeds throughout his life. If his heart was of equal weight to the feather of purity then he would progress into the afterlife to live in paradise for eternity. However, if his heart was weighed down by the sins of his life then he would be fed to a part-lion, part crocodile monster.

Soto asked his mother time and time again why the stories and people of Egypt seemed to have an obsession with the afterlife. He asked her ‘why do people want to die so much?’ – She could never provide him with a proper answer, until one day.
Soto asked her the question once more while eating his mid-day meal.
“Soto, we think of the afterlife not because we long for death but because we love life.” Soto did not understand at the time and he still did not understand but he remembered what she said clearly. The story of the underworld and the answer his mother gave was the last story he would hear of Gods and Goddesses before his family journeyed to Meggido.

Now, Soto’s mother did not have the free time to read him stories as frequently as she used to. His family could not afford to buy the papyrus which detailed the adventures of the Gods and the monsters they would encounter. Soto was afforded basic education – literature of his choice was a luxury. He learned to read and write Arabic like Kira; Soto’s parents understood the value of education in literacy just as Kira’s mother did.

When Soto met Kira he took an interest in certain aspects of Japanese culture – he was most interested in their warfare techniques. With the permission of Kira’s Kendo teacher he joined the class and was taught techniques normally reserved only for the Japanese samurai. Soto was friendly with the Japanese Imperialist community. His training in warfare did not end at Kendo either – his father would train him and prepare him for the future challenges he may face. Each year his father would intensify the training regime to empower his son with the same might he had. Soto’s father also drilled his sense of morality into his son.

“If you’re going to kill a man – make sure he is facing you. Make sure he sees the intent in your eyes. Give him his chance and then seize your opportunity with honour.” He advised Soto. While he gazed deeply into the eyes of his son he also warned, “If you fail to do this, the Gods will abandon you. Dishonour will run through your household and it will mercilessly destroy your life. Never dishonour yourself, your opponent or the Gods.”

Soto told Kira and Aisha that he too had many servants in Egypt like Kira did in Japan. Aisha looked at the boys who seemed entranced by the memories of distant lands. Their blank expressions showed no interest in Aisha’s story but she wanted to briefly relive the past just as they had.
“We lived in a big house but it was with a lot of family. My parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties and cousins all lived in the same house as me so we had a really large house.”
Aisha’s family was from Southern India, her father belonged to a merchant family who shipped cotton from India to Africa. Due to her father’s contacts with traders in the Indian subcontinent and Africa, Aisha had travelled to many places in India and even parts of Africa – mainly Egypt. Even though she lived in South India her family was of Arabian descent.

The family finally made a decision to move back to Arabia. Her grandfather, who was considered head of the household, decided that moving back to Arabia would be profitable for the family business as their contacts would increase and strengthen. Initially, Aisha’s family was happy to have returned to Arabia and they continued their comfortable lifestyle. Soon however, they ran into difficulties trying to maintain their cotton trade between India and Egypt from Arabia and the large, extended family ran into financial problems. The family split into factions and there were a large amount of arguments between uncles, aunties, her parents and her grandparents. Aisha remembered how she and her cousins would be playing in the house when suddenly their parents would argue about problems with money – she recalled how the arguing always seemed to interrupt their fun and games.
One day, Aisha’s grandfather was found dead in his sleep. Grieving at his loss and the discord of the family her grandmother ate a couple of her diamonds. The sharp, hard substance pierced and ripped through her organs slowly yet surely. Her grandmother would eventually internally bleed to death.
The family had no figurehead to guide them and Aisha’s father, who was the eldest son, did not want to lead the broken household. The large family separated and each individual family went their separate ways in life. Aisha’s father heard the rumours of infinite riches and unimaginable amounts of trade in the mountain city of Meggido.

Upon arrival he found that purchasing land in Meggido was very expensive and he had little money to spare. So, he began working as an assistant in a butcher’s shop. The money he was paid in the shop was just enough to feed and clothe the family as well as provide basic education for Aisha. Every now and then the butcher would pay Aisha’s father a little extra on top of his usual pay. Upon receiving this he would promptly store the money in an urn which contained his savings since he’d come to Meggido. He dreamed of buying land one day and opening up his own shop.
Aisha met Kira and Soto during an Arabic class, the value of literacy seemed to be well known throughout Ninos de Dios. Aisha’s father had also enrolled Aisha in a dance class. Aisha was walking through Ninos de Dios one day when she saw a dance teacher showing her students graceful and elegant movements in the art form. She was mesmerised by the beautiful movements and gazed in awe at the girls who took part.

The fiery sunset was the perfect backdrop for the leaping and spinning silhouettes of the dancers. For them, it was just another day of practice. For Aisha, it was the beginning of a passion. She immediately begged her father to let her learn dancing with the other girls. At first, Aisha’s father knew he could not afford the dancing lessons. However, after observing his daughter’s newfound passion he could not find it in his heart to deny her. Aisha’s father worked longer hours at the butcher’s shop to afford her to go to dance class. It will be worth it, he thought, ‘Just to see the smile on her face.’
Just as all three of them began to day-dream a voice called out to Aisha and awoke them all. Kira, Soto and Aisha swung their heads around in the direction of the voice. Aisha immediately waved back to the girl.

“Jasmine!” she called. There she was – Jasmine – slowly weaving her way through the crowd to reach Aisha. Aisha had told Kira and Soto that Jasmine ‘was different’.

Now, she stood before them – Jasmine, the girl that was different.
Last edited by Tusker93 on Thu Jul 30, 2009 9:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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wow that was very... elaborate. i really like how you incorporate all the different cultures into one story. Each character's story is very interesting and can be another story all on its own. I do have to say that it's a bit much. maybe you could have introduced every character properly throughout a couple chapters. but it was definitely a lot to take in, i'm not sure i even remember everything! i think what you could have done was start with Kira's story, then just go about the main story with his friends. Then you could just say when they all finally went home you could then zoom in on Soto. Like say he went home and right before he went to sleep he wished his mother could read him stories like back when they used to live in Egypt, then that's where you could have introduced his past. Then for Aisha, with her love of dancing you could of had one chapter focus on her in a dance class. That's when you could have introduced her past. Instead of going this is Kira's story, then Soto's then Aisha. I was almost expecting to read about Jasmine's past too lol.

Aside from that, you must have done a lot of research or maybe you just knew all of it already for these stories. You seem very knowledgeable in a lot of different cultures. Unless of course you were making all of it up, I don't know much about other cultures hehe.

There were a few spelling errors here and there throughout the story but i like it i really like it. keep up the good work! sounds like you've got an interesting story to tell.
Any man can handle adversity, to test a man's character give him power - Abraham Lincoln

To be the greatest is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. - ?




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This is very well written and impressively well researched. Just to reiterate Kaiden, whilst the background information on each character was very interesting, all at once was perhaps a little overwhelming for a reader to try to take in all at once. A way to improve could be to cut back on the amount given, or drip feed it across the story, just tell the reader what they need to know at any given point in the story and let the details come out in other ways as the characters and story develop, through dialogue or something that triggers a memory etc. That way the reader would be more likely to take it in and stick with the story. Otherwise this story still intrigues me and now I'm off to read part 3 :) Keep writing!
"It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words." - Orwell, 1984.

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