Conquering Fear

I remember
the day
fear came knocking at my door

It’s the fear of
disease
and death; of terrorists and war

The fear of heights,
falling,
not being able to get up

Of hurricanes,
tornadoes;
their destruction is abrupt

The subway doors
that close
and don’t open again

The first day of
band camp
when I was just a freshman

Driving a car
on the road
for the first time around town

When I first learned
to swim
I was afraid I would drown

Diabetes,
cancer,
and the health of those I love

Of rejection
and hatred
or all of the above

I’m sick of this,
the fear
that drives my soul to hide

But no longer
will I
let this fear consume my life

I surrender
to God
every single part of me

I take the first step
in faith;
I trust in God and I am free

I’ve been held back
too long;
the joy I feel gives freedom to scream

For no longer
will this fear
keep me from achieving my dreams

Hi
This was a great poem with a great message.Here is what might possibly help you improve this poem:

If possible,try and cut back on the number of examples.Two or three stanza are more than enough to convey the intention of the examples.

The title of the poem is "Conquering Fear"hence, give greater focus to the part which requires conquering fear.You have given very little space to this aspect of the poem,therefore add more detail to this part.Otherwise, it might look oversimplified

Good resolution of the narrator in the last line.

Keep up the good work.

Hello there!
I must say, I really enjoyed this poem. I was a little worried when I saw how it was set up, but the flow was perfect. The rhyming was good; you had very few slant rhymes (hide/life). I loved the stanza on band camp. It added some nice comic relief to the otherwise heavy topics like disease and natural disasters. I think your resolution was led up to nicely, but I might add something about what this new mindset allows you to do. The message was very empowering. Nice job!
~Alyssa

Hello I will review yours today!

I remember
the day Commar after 'day', and capital letter for 'the'
fear came knocking at my door full stop after 'door' and capital letter for 'fear'

It’s the fear of I think that the 'of' should be on the next line with disease.
disease then, commar after the 'disease' and capital letter for the 'of'.
and death; of terrorists and war capital letter for 'and' and a full stop after 'war'.

The fear of heights,
falling, capital letter for 'falling'
not being able to get up capital letter for 'not' and full stop after up

Of hurricanes,
tornadoes; capital letter for 'tornadoes'
their destruction is abrupt capital for 'their' and full stop for 'abrupt'

The subway doors commar after 'doors'
that close 'that' needs a capital letter, and commar after 'close'
and don’t open again capital 'and' and full stop after 'again'

The first day of 'of' should be on the next line
band camp when 'of' is here it should be capitalised and commar after 'camp'
when I was just a freshman capital 'when' and full stop after 'fresh'

I am going to stop here, because it seems to be the same mistakes, they are only punctualtional errors, like fullstops, commars and capital letters. But the content is good, and the layout is interesting, but make sure you don't drag it on to the next line, each line should be complete because with this type it wouldn't work aswell. But your use of language is good, because it shows you are developed in that aspect and once you have done that, it's your style and editing that need the work. But I thourughly enjoyed it, and as you can see I cannot spell. But if you need anymore help, or have any questions on what I have written the do not hesitate to pm me!