Essence

Time is a vulture,
Circling above.
You are chained to it,
And cannot break free...
No matter how hard you try.

Someday, as the sun sets,
You will fall to the dust
And let it devour you.

Time will find another
to take your place

This was incredibly meaningful, well put together, and just fantastic.

I realize I am new and my criticism isn't as valid, but I have just two things to say. I believe the format is distracting and that you need punctuation. Other than that, I have no complaints!

Wow. This is short, but a very good read. It's very meaningful and metaphorical. Since it is a short poem, I cannot find much to nitpick on.

However, there is just one glitch: punctuation. Yes, it's very important in poetry because it enhances the poem's flow. Without punctuation, it's like the poem's lines doesn't have a start nor an end. (You know what I mean right? )

But overall, it was nice. Keep up the good work!

Short but sweet, I like that. You have a great way with words and use them well. I can only really say critique wise to just keep on doing what your doing, have family or friends read it or read it a loud to yourself to make sure it's sounds how you like it. Great Job!

i love the idea of time as a vulture, great imagery!
As you said in your description the poem is deep and meaningful.
Although it was short, it said what it needed to and i think anymore would have been going overboard, which many people seem to do now.
But, as people have said, add punctuation, i'm not the best at it myself but it is necessary and useful!
keep writing!

Aqua X

short and sweet just how I like it. It really is very good and you should be proud You don't need any more information put in there

maybe just put in some commars and fullstops though

well done

This was some very short,very effective and very meaningful poem that makes the message very clear.

Excellent use of the highly creative metaphor.The helplessness against stopping time from causing us to die showed exposes our real weakness.It makes us all feel suddenly scared and less significant.

You also brought about great meaning in the setting sun which symbolized the time we lived our last day and finally dropped dead.The second stanza had lovely imagery.

The last to lines really showed what kind of victims we all are of time, which always has someone ready to consume.

Keep up the exceptional work.

I think that was really beautiful.
Even though it was short it was great and I don't think you can make it any better than that!
I absolutely loved it.
x

1. This poem was fabulous. I enjoyed the creative imagery and I feel you must have some good potential.

2. The poem had a strong feel to it. For me it felt of endlessness and helplessness.

3. I like your creativity. There aren't many people who can come up with a metaphor like this one. Time as a vulture about to feast? It's astoundingly accurate - depending on how you view time.

4. Now for the critique. I have to point out that you do need punctuation. It's imperative to any story, poem, song, or even conversation. It brings flow and balance. Without punctuation, works like this look far less professional and lack of punctuation brings a lack of interest to some readers.

For instance, I once tried to read a poem without punctuation (granted that it was much longer) and it was very hard to stick with it. The author seemed almost lazy, not even bothering with a period.

5. That about sums up my review. I hope you continue writing, and I hope I have helped.

Very well put together.
Not many people can pull off doing work this short.
You have a very strong sense of language
One of the advantages of having a short piece is that it could be looked at many ways, from many diffrent points of view.
The reader can make the piece
However
You may not want that, if so, direct the words toward a certain angle and subject
This sort of feels like the beginning of a very deep, textured poem, although this is great as it is, I strongly recomend going back and turning this into someting longer, or even a series of poems or a short story.
And there are quite a couple punctuation mistakes, just something to work on.
But still, this is a great piece, I t captures something very unique.
Keep writing like you mean it

Vera