No One Understands

No One Understands
Do you understand?
You don’t get it
The pain that’s tearing me apart
Do you understand?

Do you know?
How I feel
I’m dying inside
Do you understand?

Do you do it on purpose?
Just to hurt me
Just to torture me
Just to see that tear rolling down my cheek
Do you understand?

Do you see through me my mask?
No one else does
I act normal
Happy, Smiling, Cheerful
But I hide the truth
How hurt I am
Nobody can tell
No one understands.

Hi!
That is a nice one.
It definitely feels just the same when someone close to you hurts you, not caring and not even understanding you for once.
I liked the third stanza.The last stanza describes exactly the way we tend to hide our hurt.
A well-written one I must say.
I think you can cut down one 'do you understand?' from the first stanza. It is already repeated many a times in the poem.

Rach3lx0x wrote:Do you understand?
You don’t get it-
The pain that’s tearing me apart.
[s]Do you understand?[/s]

First of all, the repetition doesn't work. Why would you even put that verse here?
Second, Why the same question twice-why question like this on the beginning???
Thirdly, and most important-why a lousy question, then even more lousy answer?
Also, you need a dash in the second verse or if you do not want to put a dash, you can just delete "it" and all will be ok. Please be careful with punctuation.

Rach3lx0x wrote:Do you know[s]?[/s]
How I feel
I’m dying inside
[s]Do you understand?[/s]

Why do you need a question mark when a sentence haven't finished yet? "It's like? this."

Rach3lx0x wrote:Do you do it on purpose?
Just to hurt me,
Just to torture me,
Just to see that tear rolling down my cheek
[s]Do you understand?[/s]

You really do have too much questions in your poem. That makes the poem boring as hell.

Rach3lx0x wrote:Do you see through [s]me[/s] my mask?
No one else does.
I act normal:
Happy, Smiling, Cheerful,
But I hide the truth-
How hurt I am.
Nobody can tell,
No one understands.

Gosh, you're not the only one hurt. Do not be so egocentric.
The last stanza was totally different from the previous ones. I mean with the number of verses. Try to keep the same amount of verses in stanzas through the whole poem so the flow is okay.
I understand you're new and all, but the punctuation should be one of the priorities if you want to write here or anywhere.
Questions and repetitions are usually a "no-go" in poems. Especially this kind of repetitions-I have to say-at least terrible. Unless you are sure what you're doing, do not use questions and repetitions.

Hey!!!!

First off, I really liked your poem. This poem portrays several feelings, all of which links to one another in some way or another. I could relate to it very well. The fourth stanza was good too. Great job!

Do you understand?

I'm not sure I really liked the repetition of this line throughout the poem. Maybe you should cut a few out?

Other than that, I really liked your poem. Good job, once again.

zOe

hey
it was really nice
One feels exactly the same way when something happens like that
I love the use of words
good rhythm
good rhyme scheme used
overall
good job

keep writing

~ Anshita

Hey, your poem is easy for many to relate too, nice work. It seems to be written from experience. If it was any other poem I would suggest cutting down on the repitition but seeing as it's a poem written to get a message across and feelings out it's well suited.
Well done x

Hello.

I like the repetition of the word understand! It really emphasises, what the writer is thinking and feeling, without saying a big amount. Also it shows another meaning of the word understand. But the deeper meaning, the word of loyalty and trust, and the word that you depend on to you friends and family.

It also shows, that if people do care, they aren't showing it, and the writer is asking them to show that they care. Show that they understand how the writer feels, whether they feel the same way or not.

It shows how people really feel in life, those non attention seeking people. They put on a brave face and get on with it. It, I guess, makes the writer feel, how much do my freinds care? how can they not notice? although you are putting on a brave face, deep down you want them to notice you and care. But either you are good at acting, or they really don't know you very well. and that can make you scared.

So it's a true interpretation with more meanings than one thinks!

hey this is dogs and i'll be reviewing your poem.

first of all you broke the rules. you see we have a two to one ratio here. you have to review two poems to post a poem and also like what BLUEDRAGON said i don't really like the receptivity of "do you understand" and darko may be harsh but really listin to what he is saying its very important.

this poem is good and has a lot of potential but it just needs a little cleaning up. and i'll tell you what. this was 100 times better than my first poem i submited. best of luck =D =)