~Dear Adelaide

~Okay, this may be mistaken for a suicide note, and for the most part it does sound a lot like it but it isn't. Just specifying it . Harsh reviews are always loved and the more brutal the more I'll love you. Oh, and since it's a letter it's a monologue. Hope you like it!


Dear Adelaide,


Let me go. I want you to unclasp your hands from my shirt, lift the curse in which holds me here in a place that’s purpose serves to hurt me with it’s relentless impossibilities. Kiss me goodbye and let me walk away for once and be free for no one here is going to save me.

I loved it here once. I loved this life, this heart that beat within my breast, but time changes everything and now it is time for me to go. To take these empty dreams along with me to the land where I can no longer feel the pain of hatred, of those hands that dragged me further and further into the dark abyss. This hateful place that is my soul.

I’m tired.

I’m scared.

I’m alone.

It isn’t like before when I could close my eyes and it would all disappear like some bad dream. This nightmare isn’t fading and I’m dying inside because of it.

So let me die.

I know you love me. I know you want more for this life for me but I can no longer breathe. No longer hope for my saving grace nor could I pray for the light when darkness beseeches me.

Call me selfish. I know you want to. I understand completely and would not think any less of you if you did. How could I? You are perfection. Whatever made you look at me and see something in this godforsaken mess that is my heart is something I couldn’t even somewhat comprehend.

I’m whispering you name, dear Adelaide. I’m holding your picture to my chest where you would place your hand and feel my heartbeat with those feeble fingertips. It’s still beating for you. It was only ever beating for you.

When I leave your side, never think for a minute it was your fault. If anything, it was my fault for giving up so easily and not letting you heal what needed desperately to be healed.

Keep drawing, Adelaide. Keep those hands moving so flawlessly across those endless sheets of paper. You were such an amazing artist and I would hate to see your talent go to waste. I know you loved when I played for you. You would draw my hands skimming across the ivory keys, images flying this way and that as you continuously struggled to capture just the right movement. You looked so adorable when you did.

I know I sound regretful for leaving you and more then anything else, I am. I do not mean to hurt you but time is pulling me away and leading me somewhere new.

I will continue to play. To practice and grow so you better not give up on that talent of yours. I will play till my fingers bleed if I have to just so you may even somewhat hear it in your thoughts, your own dreams. Oh how selfish I must sound now, writing this awful letter that brings more grief to my own soul then anyone could possibly understand.

There is only one thing left I wish to ask for. One last thing in which I implore you to see fit. Don’t wait for me. Don’t close your heart off from the world because I have not returned. Learn, live, and love. Be that beautiful girl I know you so well to be and keep that smile as bright as the stars.

I will see you again, my darling Adelaide. I will see those endless eyes and kiss those peachy lips. This is not the last of my words nor could this letter even come close to explaining the feelings that well up within me at just the sound of your name. But a few simple words and a regretful soul.

I wish I could have brought you with me on this unknown adventure in which I’m about to embark on but I know there is something here for you. The concrete flowers that bloom from the city streets are your greenery and you love it more then any other place I could bring you. Stay where the cities stars fill the windows with twinkling light and the dashes of sun erupt from the glossy, black roads.

I must go now. I must close my eyes and walk the new path with the small wad of cash in my pocket and a beat in my breast. That’s all I need. That’s all I can hope for. You are all I want but time will not permit me such a wonderful luxury.

I love you as always,

Benjamin
~~

So, what did you think? Please tell .

Is walking in death
~The.Dreamwalker

Hey Dream, Stella here! First of all, I love the name Adelaide, that's why this caught my eye. So...

I. NITPICKS

lift the curse in which holds me here

which, not in which.

with it’s relentless impossibilities.

its, not it's. Remember its is a word like "his" or "hers", but it's is a conjunction like "he's" or "she's".

I know you love me. I know you want more for this life for me but I can no longer breathe.

for me in this life, perhaps?

those feeble fingertips.

feeble? Why are they feeble? Is she old, sick? It seems a weird word choice.

just so you may even somewhat hear it in your thoughts,

This is really wordy...

Stay where the cities stars

city's...

Okay...

II. OH, THE DRAMA!

This guy sorta annoys me. He's so melodramatic and he sort of repeats himself. Are we supposed to like him? To feel sorry for him because he's leaving the poor girl to go off and achive his dreams? Is this what's tearing him up inside? But for the good of all, he must leave her?

Tone it down slightly. Don't make him so melodramatic. People sort of yawn and say "Oh, give it a rest." If you want to humanize him, don't make it so... heavy. Say things once, but no more.

III. OVERALL

It wasn't bad, not exactly my scene, perhaps. Characters like Benjamin bug me... it wasn't badly written, I just felt a bit overdone. Look over it, see what he says that isn't necessary and cut it away with a chainsaw. Or you know, change it so it's less "Ah, me!" And then it'll be good

Hope I helped, drop me a note if you need anything!

-Stella.

Commit suicide you suck at writing and at life.