life & Dreams

You come to me when I dream; you leave me all alone when I am a wake,
Yet speak t me all Day,
Who are you? Are you the person next to me or down the street,
Do I see you everyday; have I even met you yet?
Are you my true love or a dear friend I will have with me always,
Shall I meet you tomorrow or never?
Do you, will you know who I really am on the inside,
Not just who I am on the outside
Are you loud and proud or quiet and shy
Will you love me?
Will you hate me?
Come, come
To me as I dream to night
Let me see your face
And find out where you hide from me,
For I wish that you shall meet me for who I am not just who I wish to be
For you are with me forever.

i found typos.. and things like that..

perhaps this person is your self ? not a person you'll actully meet... a being thats within you i suppose....that can keep you company.. and things.....

i really doubt its an actul person...

relitivly nice poem... got me thinking a little...on what this is...i like the proposed problem...

i found typos.. and things like that..

perhaps this person is your self ? not a person you'll actully meet... a being thats within you i suppose....that can keep you company.. and things.....

i really doubt its an actul person...

relitivly nice poem... got me thinking a little...on what this is...i like the proposed problem...

haha sorry for this crappy review...

silented1

Thank you for telling me about the typos and your idea of what my poem meant, really meant a lot to me. This poem was really about finding one's self, so out all of everyone who guessed you were the closest! And Thank you again

Howdy,

I don't have too much to say. I think you had an interesting idea behind this, but I don't believe it was written very well. Your poem is hard to follow and understand; it's not impossible, it just not have much continuity. I suggest re-writing several poems based of the same theme, and learning which style and method works best with you and your ideas.

Typos:
Line two. Word three. - to; and why did you capitalize Day?
Line twelve. Word six. - tonight

Things to consider:

- More line breaks
- Use clearer language, and word choice to communicate what you are really trying to say.
- Perhaps use less personal pronouns, and communicate in more raw fashion.

Keep writing!

-M.