X.X

This post has been vastly improved. Seek out the new "Eventide (1)" if you wish to read it.

I loved it!!

Alaster and the other wolf with Nolen seemed to just disappear. Which makes me sad cause I liked Alaster.

I also enjoyed how at first it seemed like she was in trouble but it just turned out that she was in some rivalry with her bigger than her but still her baby brother.

Also it was a good idea for them to be able to control earth cause it add good effects for there fight.

Over all I loved the story!!!!!

And I think it deserve a ninja and dancing elephant!



PM me when you post more. Pretty please with cherries on top. (I'm not even going to try and say grammar cause I suck at that. )


~Chinchilla

Wow. I liked that a lot! Great work!

I've gotta agree with Chinchilla... the wolves just disappeared! Aww! Where'd they go?!

Good ol' sibling rivalry! Great stuff!

Develop the stories and characters a bit more, and you could really have something here.

Also, if you don't mind a tip: You announced

So much for you being a little brother, what are you, fifteen years old? Shouldn’t your seventeen year old sister at least look like she’s three years older than you?

pretty abruptly.

Give facts like that a more subtle entrance kinda throws the story off a bit, but that's just be my meager opinion.

All in all, great job. I can't wait for more