the shadows are dancing..

The shadows..
dancing
for your entertainment..
the rain tapping..
lulling you to sleep...

and the forest is resting..
with you..
not a sound to be heard..
when your half awake..
looking around..
wondering..
how is life so..
pure ?

when it is untouched by man..
left to work
on its own acordance..
with the natural..
rhythems and beats..
making sure you rest
soundly..

as the soft sounds die..
and the shadows then
cry..
for they're forced to stop
their celebration..
the rain to end..
its musical tune..
as you now sleep..

The rain was
tapping..
making sure you slept
so peacfully..
and the shadows..
were dancing..

Hey Silented!

I liked this poem! It was rather peaceful, flowed nice and evenly -- overall a nice poem!

I don't like how you end each line with an ellipsis (...); that kind of takes away the statement of your line, dear, because it's adding a slight uncertain sound to it, as if you're not entirely sure of your thoughts.

when it is untouched by man..

left to work

on its own acordance..

with the natural..

rhythems and beats..

making sure you rest

soundly..

In this stanza, acordance should be accord; the proper spelling for acordance is accordance, with two C's; however, accord fits more here.

And! Rhythems should be rhythms.

Nice work, Silent! Keep it up!

June

haha thank you.. the dots are my habit of pausing while i talk... and i write how i talk.. mispronounced = misspelling....as you can see i use these dots a lot...its a habit of mine...i gotta remember to take them out...

please excuse my slang.. i suppose...and i'm never sure of my thoughts.. i always need to question myself and others... its how time moves forward....i suppose..

Wow! (yes, i had to review it!)
I really like this, it has a really peaceful rhythm and flow, it just reads well i guess.
I agree with the ellipsis comment, on occasional lines in the poem i think they'd be good, that would giving it a sort of musing effect. But when they are pretty much everywhere it gives a feeling that each line is in a way unfinished. (sorry if that made no sense)
but i really liked it. i would like to read more!
X

hehe...thank you.... this poem would go good with my other poem the forest's bed.. thats in my yws blog.... they are kinda the same thing... except this focuses more on the rain and you sleeping where as the other focuses on the scene rather than you.....

Dang, this is really good.
Its very descriptive (I think that's how you spell it)
Its very good...
I love it when it rains...so much inspiration...
ha anyways ...
keep up the good work...