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Hey, I loved it. It may have some mistakes, but I do A LOT of mistakes, so I'm not judging...

But, I loved everything; how you wrote it, and the plot was cool...

I rarely read or review, but this was cool...

Hi.

Okay, first of all I was just wondering (you don't have to say if you don't want to) if this is something that actually happened to you.

It is very well formatted, I like how you give the reader a timeline to work from positive to what gradually became hell, because it conveyed the emotions very well.

My parents started fighting,
which became a war
that was lasting for a while.

Interesting metaphor.

My friends called less and less,
and they excluded me.

I would change that to "they began to exclude me," just so that it continues to follow your gradual pattern that leads to something instead of being so abrupt.

I really like how you supply short, simple phrases like "They split up" and "We broke up," because not only does it create a rhythm but adds to the staccato, broken theme.

I think your last stanza had the most impact.

PM me if you have any questions or comments-

Good job, keep up the great writing!

FA

Hello.
That is so good.

It was really thought through, although I knew what was comming next, I was glad, because if it hadn't gone the way it did then it wouldn't sound good.

It's a very interesting way of writing
and I loved the repetition within

It's a really sad poem, but needless to say, very good.

good luck

Hi.
That was a simple,touching and very effective poem.You really moved at the right pace for the reader.Great determination to stay positive on part of the narrator and its really not his fault if he could no longer remain positive.

Must say......perhaps the best poem I've come across on YWS till now.