A Blind Man

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Before he was murdered, the old man, already sickly and old, decided his new-found relatives were undeserving of his fortune. He had decided to give it to a poor family who had been kind to him after his world collapsed around him, and due to his humble livings they knew not of his riches. The pieces of the inheritance we given to the delivery boy, Oliver was his name. The deed, the bond, and some of his smaller treasures. Before Oliver departed the old man had abruptly gone into the kitchen with haste and without a word. As the young man left the house he heard laughter as if in insanity and shortly afterward a gunshot. Upon that he fled with the inheritance in hand.

Oliver wondered what had made these people so deserving. Further he pondered whether the old man had a will or any children. Oliver decided that he deserved the gold more than any poor family, they were well enough on their own. Oliver decided that if he was going to take the old man's money why not take his name as well. The thought passed and he decided that he would one day. For a second, it felt as if all except Oliver had stopped. He was sure he had fled unnoticed, but to be sure he ran and ran, until he tripped on a root and saw a child walking toward him. The child remarkably stood the young man up, and asked him to take him to the lake. The young man, however disturbed by the recent events, complied with the boy's wishes in attempt to do some good before he escaped with the stolen fortune and name. Halfway there the boy had fallen asleep. Oliver laid the boy down and decided to head out leaving the boy to the safety of onlooking fishermen and the riverbed alike. No sooner had Oliver turned around, he noticed the boy was up. The boy said what he thought was "Quality is better than longevity." Oliver was sure he had misunderstood the boy. Oliver thought vigorously about what he heard and what the boy could have said. The boy could have said, "I have to see my Aunt Betty." Children nowadays said crazy things all the time. When Oliver thought to ask the boy he was surprised that he was nowhere to be found. Oliver, in plain sight--for no one knew he had done wrong--drifted into a deep slumber right there upon the riverbed.

When Oliver woke is was as if it was all just a dream. The sun was gently rising above the river and the clouds were red as far as the sky could see. Only when he looked down at the suitcase containing the ill-begotten goods did he realize it was not. That say Oliver did not know anything of his future except he had money and one day he was going to come back for the rest of "his" inheritance. That and he was going to be very happy for a long time.

Years later, a Mr. Oliver Brunswick had a beautiful bride and an even more beautiful baby boy. He loved them, but he also loved his money. Oliver gave into the nature of money. He became unfaithful and spent very little time with his family. In time, he was punished for his misdeeds with the lives of the two people that made him happiest, the woman who had loved him before she knew of his fortune and his only daughter, who fell ill while he was away with his mistress. Oliver secluded himself from the world and became blind to it. He found the ability to love again when a widow and her daughter came to visit him regularly and they fed him with whatever little they had. Oliver knew his time was coming and wanted to be there for his new family, to make up for the loss of his own. He had prepared a suitcase full of documentation that would make sure that they would live comfortably. He arranged for one of the orphans, a delivery boy to take the suitcase to this family. When he saw the boy he handed him the suitcase and walked into the kitchen, opened the drawer to get his gun, laughed and then all you could hear was a gunshot for miles away. For Oliver realized before his last breath that the boy was himself.
"If you were a ham...I would bake you."




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So I clicked on this story in hopes of giving a opionated reveiw and realized I don't have much to say! Although there is some confusion in the middle of this story, by the end I think you know what you are meaning to convey. I would go through and check for some repitition that may or may not be intentional on your part. Such as in the first 2 paragraphs you say "he decided" or "Oliver decided" quite often. Other than that I loved it! It's the type of writing I enjoy and hope you will continue to write things such as this. I'm sure if i read and re-read I might be able to find more things worth reviewing but I am limited on time. Hope the little I gave helps you. Do not feel obligated to take any advice or compliments.
"The path of the righteous shines brighter and brighter until the perfect day."
~Proverbs 4:18




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Gender Female
Points 1408
Reviews 42
Good story. I like the message. I'm not a nitpicker as I've told many people, so I can't help you there. It did get a little confusing at the end of the story, but other than that I thought it was good. Good job and Keep writing!


Sierra :mrgreen:
If you look deep enough you will see music; the heart of nature being everywhere music.
Thomas Carlyle

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu



Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief