Luka Smith and Phillip Laurier

Okay so, if anyone has read my two chapters of 'Bottle Caps' that I have up on here, these are the two main characters, Luka and Phillip.

One more thing. It does look as if it suggesting a romantic sort of pose but its more a friendly sort of pose.. ugh its hard to explain cause this was done representing a scene in the novel.

Well tell me what you think and bear with me, I know they are anime-like.

Erm, yes. It is a bit romantic looking.
But I applaud your awesomesauce drawing skills! *claps*

Just a few points...

1.) Is Luka a girl? He looks extremely feminine. Not just the shirt, but his skinny jeans and slight built.
2.) They are both verrrry skinny, to the point of eating disorder.
3.) The arm Phillip is reaching with is impossibly long. It's like a monkey's!

Great drawing all in all! Very sweet!

Best,
Antigone

Hi Dreamwalker!

Great to see more of your work!

Very nice line art here. I would love to see some shading going here as well. They are really skinny; one of the worst things about anime-- they're always bone-thin.

Luka's cap is kind of small. Imagine running in that. It would fly off in an instant. Also! If Luka is a girl, she needs eyelashes.

Nice works, Walkerdream. Way better than I could attempt.

June

The line art is delightful here and the pose capturing a specific moment in time is great though I have to agree, it does seem rather romantic. Maybe it’s the general feeling that they are both looking so seriously into one another’s eyes. Make them connect through their smiles instead.

Also, the same question, is Luka a girl. If she is…well, a girls figure would be nice. Real women have curves after all…if only a little bit.

But one thing I really have to compliment you on are the feet. I like them. They may not seem completely realistic but they are drawn very nicely and skillfully.

Good Job.

~lil

Hi. Socks here! Its a pretty nice drawing. The proportions are a little bit off though. The guys arms, for example, are too long. The hand in the back starts too low in the torso also. He looks like he dislocated his shoulder. The girls neck is not that well defined. Its short, probably because shes hunched back. But her neck blends into her collar bone: not good.
Plus, it wouldnt hurt making the girl a little more curvacious since the last reviwers confused her for a him.
Overall its a preety good drawing. Keep doing it and I hope I helped.

i thought this was a really good drawing, it captures the feeling of a moment well, although yes it is kinda romantic.

The proportions do seem slightly off however, especially the guy's arm, way too long! And the cap on the girl (is she a girl) which is kinda small.

overall though it's a great piece of art!
X

Hey DreamWalker, I am gonna try and review this for you.

Ok, First of all I think it would look better with a little background to it. It just makes it look plain without it.

Second, the girls neck is a little to big for her.

Third and final the cap is a little to small for the picture.

Well that's all I could come up with. Keep up the good work and draw some more. I can't wait to see more of your work.

-Flower-

Psst. Most of all your comments made me laugh at the part where you all couldn't figure out Luka's gender.
As you guys might know, I am Incognito, Dreamwalk's dearest and loving sister, and before I get to my review I would just like to let you all know that Luka is actually a boy.

The reason for why he is so slight because he supposed be like that, partially because of his lack of nutrition in his household, and probably depression because he never eats. It is a fairly sad story. Though why Luka is wearing an extremely feminine shirt and skinny jeans evade me. xD

Now that that is over, Dreamwalk, here is your sisters loving review! (Well not quite so loving. You probably will complain about it when you get home. --Everyone, Dreamwalk takes criticism amazingly well, almost unbelievably well, unless it is coming from me.)
Let us begin. Time to graffiti your work!



Point One:
In Point One, I am depicting your one hand of Luka's which is holding his leg. The reason why I picked that one out is because it seems slightly deformed. If you look at the fingers, they seem to be in an different array of crooked lines and because of the angle it is at, the hand looks stubby. I know that you will tell me that if you look at a hand grabbing someones leg from that angle, it will look like that. And it most likely will. But I will tell you how to fix that in a minute.

For the fingers, just make them more straight and spread out at points. You would never find someone grabbing their leg with that tight of squished fingers. Loosen the out a bit even if it is only a clip of the knuckles showing.

And now what I recommend for the hand altogether is to draw it somewhere else at a different angle. The reason for that is because the angle it is now, just doesn`t work and indeed does make it look stumpy. Hands are one of the hardest parts to draw, as I know from my experiences, and as you know from hearing me complain about my hands in my drawings. You don`t have to do this because it could take away from the style of the piece, but I believe it would make it look tidier.

Point Two:
Point Two is of the arm so many people have pointed out. The arm actually is too long and is lowered too much and makes it almost seem that it looks dislocated. When someone is actually in that position the muscles up top contract and that means naturally that the arm will seem higher and closer to the neck and cheek.

I would make where the arm starts shorter, and I also think that that would help the length of the arm overall because their is a shorter of a distance between the hand and the cap, and the shoulder blade. Overall, it would make it a bit more proportionate.

The mustache is a beautiful touch by the way. I am loving it.

Point Three:
Point Three is of the hat area as so many people have pointed out. The main problem is that the hat is much to small. Baseball hats are supposed to be snug on the head and go a bit lower. Right now your baseball cap is just like one of the Jewish hat thingies almost and how small it is and sits on the head. Of course not as small as one of those. If you make the hat a bit bigger and think that it should fit more of Philip, who seems to have a bigger head, it would make it look nicer.

I also think that if you made it over-sized on Luka's head it would look absolutely adorable.

The next part of Point Three is the actual hand on the hat. The hand is pretty good except the index finger which needs some minor adjustments. It is incredibly to small and stubby, unless it was supposed to be like that because he cut it off when cutting onions I don't think it should be like that. If you look at an actual hand you will notice how elongated the fingers are. You are probably going to say something about how it is indeed the angle. It is much to small for the angle anyways. Just touching it up would do it a great deal of justice.

Point Four:
My fourth comment is on something that always bugs me with some of peoples drawings. You just trimmed that tiny, tiny part out of the picture. Why would you do that? Did you run out of the size of paper or something?

The reason why it bugs me so much is because to me it seems almost like laziness. I believe you could have easily just have brought in that part of the foot. You might have accidentally gotten rid of it in the scanning process, and if so, scan it again and get the poor boy's foot back. I also get the odd suspicion when I see people who do that that it could possibly be the worst part of the drawing that they trimmed out. I am going to hunt down the actual picture now. xD

I am sure this was only a case of you actually running out of room for the paper. Next time, I think you should plan it out and make sure that you aren't going to eliminate any part of the drawing. It just takes it away from it for me. ;3

Man, I have a feeling you are going to get angry that that comment.

Point Five:
My fifth comment is on the creases in the pants on this leg. The reason why that bugs me is because it does not actually go with the leg underneath it which actually usually causes the ripples. It was these two creases in particular that I found iffy. That is because when the leg is laying on the ground, the calve softens and the muscles under the skin aren't contracted. That means the creases should be outline the leg more, not just two random lines there to make it look more detailed.

Get my point? Talk to me if you need more detail.

Overall:
This picture made me think automatically of two romantic gay children. :/
And I know the story. xD

But I see what you were trying to do with it by making it seem more childish fun and games, a childish friendship that just happened to save one of their lives. I believe this was a very effective drawing. If I were you, I would use a different calligraphy for the writing. That way it would look neater and cool. Also, I have personally hated your writing for as long as I can remember. xD

I believe in this picture that you could add a bit more meaning into it. Maybe add Luka's collection of bottle caps with them. That way I think it would certainly more impacting and adorable. I don't believe you should add a background because that would take away the effect of the line art.

Well done and I hope to see more of your art work. xD
Hah, that's a joke. I will get to see them anyways.
Talk to later, and also, today I made it to my 1000th post Dreamwalk. Aren't you proud?
~Incognito

He's a boy!!!!

And Incog... you suck

I think it looked amazing despite my lag of knowledge with drawings XD Anyways I say good job and I will look at more of your work when I have more time. Good luck and Happy Drawing!!
Soulkana<3

I liked this. I was laughing at the comments, is that bad? XD It's because I realized Luka was a boy from the beginning because the shirt is really low and he has no boobs plus the shape of the face's profile is masculine (I love the name Luka on a boy, by the way. It always makes me think of Alice Academy XD)
Oh yeah, I was stalking your artwork, and that's why I'm commenting on something you drew a year and three months ago ... just... you know... just so you know
I think there are two things that make this picture appear romantic.
1. Luka is blushing.
2. They're staring into each others eyes intently, like this ---> O.O
Staring contest!! O,O
Just kidding

Nice, all the other reviews are very detailed so i feel like I haven't go much to say. It is extremely sweet and very cute. To me it's romantic because of the posture, eye contact faces of your characters. The guy with the cap looks like a shy girl, with his off the shoulder top.

Plus: Over all this is very good, your style is kind of in between realism and anine, this to me isn't great or bad but i don't mid it. The figures are well drawn and everything is generally well done. The facial expressions are good.

Minus: You failed to get the friendly feel but instead ended up with a romantic one. Incognito gave you a dam good review, you should read it. To me you need more detail on the hands and feet. The clothes are well done but lacking.The sitting guys thigh is not correctly drawn resulting in a very awkward look. Its quite hard to draw people in that position so it's no big deal. Also the sitting boys head is not as greatly drawn as his fellows. It's probably the hair that effecting his face. The eyes should be bought forward. Also he lacks a neck and his hat doesn't fit on his head.

Great work! Very cute little scene.