I'm sorry that you're getting so many mixed messages, and unfortunately my comment will only add to the diversity. This poem had a similar "list" structure to another poem, "Thirteen Blackbirds" by Wallace Stevens.
This was dripping with cliches and awkwardness, as some of the other reviewers above have noted. There are one or two lines worth keeping (mainly because they actually sound original), but honestly this needs a lot of work. I'm not entirely sure what to make of "&+", except that if it is supposed to be read as "andplus", it creates an imbalanced meter.
I agree with Galerius that the pen/arm/blood line has potential, but needs work. Also the undreamed/ love line is the same; both could be really interesting and unexpected, so don't leave them to wallow in clumsy wording. Play around with the syntax a bit. I think the important thing is to cut away excess word choice. Watch out for the little words, especially.
The poem has a chance to be something decent, but I heavily recommend that you pull out some shears. (Don't worry, I'm guilty of cramming too many into my verses– but trust me, it's better to have too few, rather than too many!)
Well, I think that's about it. See you around.
Cheers,
–antimelrose
