The Greatest Feeling

The Greatest Feeling


I'm tingling inside

Whenever you are around

I'm falling so hard

I almost hit the ground

Then you catch me;

I can't fly

But then I say:

"My, ohh, my."

I like this. I think you should expand on it, because it'll be stronger.
Also, try "My, oh, my." Grammar mistakes sorry.
Instead of "Falling so hard" which doesn't really make sense,
Try saying something else. With more descriptive vocabulary. It'll surely make the piece stronger.
Other than that, I think its good
x

Hey there bryanne!
I'm Kamas and i will being your reviewer today!

This was a sweet little poem but it was to short for my liking!
Expand it! Make it longer!
(gives me more to review!)

Secondly, the formatting!
It annoys some people when the formatting is weird
Since it's so short the formatting may not work but try to stick with

Line
Line
Line (etc depending on how many lines your first verse is)

(double spaced)

Line
Line
Line

Thirdly Grammar!
This one is a biggy! Always go over your poem once before posting
or press the "Check Spelling" button in the top right corner (Which I find to be quite handy)
Though your only mistake was "ohh", it's a good thing to know.
So use this as a future reference!

Fourth flow.
This one is the hardest to get right.
If something rhymes it doesn't necessarily have a flow
Think syllable count and possibly rhyming (though it is not always the case)

If for example:

A dog had a log
and the log had a frog
and the frog had a cat
and the cat had a mouse

This flows because of the syllable count because frog and cat don't rhyme and neither does
mouse and cat. but if I added another line that was something like

and the mouse had a really big hunk of cheddar cheese

That completely chops up the flow I created!
It is something to work on! (even for me)

Well you did a great job!
Keep up the good work and PM for questions

PS. I don't mean to sound harsh! It's a great little poem. This is just constructive criticism
Here have a flower *hands over a flower*

K A M A S