I miss you

Just a little side note, when I go like this (...) that means that note or whatever is held out.
Thanks for reading!
____________________
Did you see me cry….
When you left I died…
You made a choice
It wasn’t a good one
You made a choice
It broke me down…

This is the face of
Extreme uncertainty
My new life without you
Is falling apart
I wish that you would
Let me talk to you
It’s just a letter
Can I send you a letter?

People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I will be true to you
People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I wish I was more like you

I never lied to you
I’m sorry you don’t
See the truth
My walls fall…
In your hands…
The sky falls…
It’s your hand…

These things
That you accuse me of
Are not the truth
I was true to you
Are you just looking for
An excuse
Do you just want a break?
Just talk to me honey
Let me make it better

People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I will be true to you
People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I will be true to you
(x2)

It’s just a letter
Can I send you a letter?

People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I will be true to you
People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I wish I was more like you

I was true to you baby
I didn’t want to hurt you
Come back to me…
Come back to me, baby
I miss you…
Come back to me, yeah…

People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I will be true to you
People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I will be true to you
(x2)

Nice song! It has a nice ring to it; I can hear it set to music in my head, which is always a good sign.

It wasn’t a good one

Is this really needed? Describing the narrator breaking down and dying seems to establish this well enough, so it feels like you're stating the obvious.

We are people too

Who is "we?"

In everything we do
I wish I was more like you

Does the narrator want to be like someone who walked away and broke her heart? Seems a little strange.

My walls fall…
In your hands…
The sky falls…
It’s your hand…

Nice bridge! I really like it.

That's all I found. Keep writing! =D

I like it! it has a nice beat and i like the "People!" part, it is catchy! keep writing!


"They can, because they think they can"

Hello!

Anothah review for ya as asked.

Did you see me cry….
When you left I died…

This is the tiniest bit melodramatic...

You made a choice
It wasn’t a good one

Maybe instead of saying it outright that the decision wasn't good you could show it. That might be difficult since it's set to music, but how it is now seems weird.

This is the face of
Extreme uncertainty

I like this.

It’s just a letter
Can I send you a letter?

Letter? What?

People!
We are people too
In everything we do
I will be true to you

I'm sort of missing the connection between being people and being true to this person. But either way the last line doesn't make sense because you had just been talking about "we" and then you change to "I". I think it would make more sense if it were something like,

"People!
I am a person too
In everything I do
I will be true to you"

Same with the second half of that stanza.

The sky falls…
It’s your hand…

*confused* The sky is the person's hand?

These things
That you accuse me of

You were being accused of something? You need to say what you were accused of, and earlier.

Are not the truth

Would sound better as, "Are not true".

Alright, so this one was confusing to me too. The song needs to tell a story or moral or whatever, but it can't do that if half the pieces are missing. I think you have them in your head you just need to get them into the song. Right now what I'm getting is that a girl is upset because her boyfriend is being standoff ish...And something about a letter? But I don't know why there was disagreement or what she was accused of which sort of defeats your own ends. I do like some of the parts though, and I can hear the music in my head, so you're on your way.

-Maggie

Hey Carly! Kat's here -- again -- as requested!

Did you see me cry….
When you left I died…

How do these two relate? Make some connection.

We are people too
In everything we do
I wish I was more like you

I don't understand this people issue. Why did you put this here? Where them not considered as people? If not, how so? it's very disturbing to not understand a lyric.
The last line has no connection to those above! The person says we are people too. That means that he/she is people too. Why would you want to be more like him? Is there anything he has or is better than you at? What?
Really, really unclear.

My walls fall…
In your hands…
The sky falls…
It’s your hand…

'The sky falls... in your hand,' would sound better. If it's just a typo, as I thought it was. If not, it doesn't make sense at all.

So, you tell me a lot, but I can't feel or relate to anything. I'm sorry if this review sounds harsh, I'm just trying to point out things you have to work on.

So, I'm going for the last one!
*Kat*
Questions? PM me.