This is the first hunk of a novel I am in the process of/brainstorming to write. I don't want to say what happens because I don't want to ruin the surprises. My problem right now is I'm having a problem getting the plot going. Also, I feel like there is something missing but I can't quite put my finger on it. Can anyone help me out? Thanks. Any comments good or bad are appreciated...
“Noel! Noel! I think you dropped something.” The voice sounded genuine but the snickers down the hall warned me that it was less than ok.
“Hmm?” I stopped awkwardly the snapped around. I wasn’t too worried, I’m always dropping things. I rifled through the top of my gym bag, and then resorted to scanning the packed hallway. I had to shuffle to the side to avoid being run over. Then I saw something that made my gut wrench. “It can’t be” I pleaded with myself. But it didn’t sound very convincing, even to my own ears. I’m sure to anyone in that halfway it must have looked like someone socked me in the gut the way I jerked back. But it was something not someone that had hit me with such force. There, in the middle of the crowded hall, on the dingy green cloth the school passed as carpet, was my assailant, my pair of “Friday” underwear, teal and pasted with dancing monkeys. “This can not be happening.” But I knew it was. I didn’t have these kinds of crazy, underwear in the hall dreams. No words came out of my mouth because I knew, as I snatched up those taunting monkeys, the bright red glow of my cheeks said it all. I silently cursed my track sweats for being so static-e in the stupid dyer. Well, that’s life. My life to be exact and this was just how it was. No Hollywood directors scripted things just so, ensuring that everything would end “happily ever after.” If only the underwear in the halls was the worst of my problems…
“You going to the Cupid Shuffle?” Danica wanted to know. It was lunch and as usual our table was overflowing with people. You were lucky to be able to even stand around the outskirts most days.
“Umm, doesn’t that normally require, let’s see, a guy?” I asked. The Cupid Shuffle was the extremely tacky name the student council gave our annual Valentine’s Day Dance. Normally going without a boyfriend was no problem. But let’s just say it’s awfully depressing to be around a ton of smooching couples while you stand awkwardly in the corner. “Besides, it’s not like I’ve went the last few years, what makes you think that I’m gonna go this year?”
“I don’t know. But you never know, maybe Oww!” I had slapped her. It didn’t take me long to figure out she was just about to say maybe he would be there. “What was that for? You didn’t think I was actually going to say it did you?”
“I know you weren’t. I would have killed you first.” I snarled. Boys were one thing that I would absolutely not tolerate. I loved Dan and all but sometimes she needed to know when to shut her mouth. “Besides, you think after my little underwear incident today he would even be able to look at me keeping a straight face?”
“Stop being such a drama queen.”
“ Me? A drama queen? Have you looked in the mirror lately?”
“ Stop it you two.” Of course, it was Miranda. She was always the voice of reason. “Noel why couldn’t you come? Just this once?”
“Yeah and I can set you up with…” I slapped her again.
“Don’t worry I’ll keep Dan under control.”
“Good luck with that.” I hiss-whispered but I couldn’t help but smile. No matter how many times we chewed each other’s heads off me and Danica were best friends, practically sisters. I knew when it came right down to it she had my back. That’s why, even now, I loved her, crazy boy obsessions and all.
Beeep. You’d think a bell would actually you know, ring. But the bells that controlled our whole lives here at Fairview Middle School, gave off an annoying monotonic blare instead. “Well I guess I’ll see you later.” I said and we headed our separate ways.
All throughout Social Studies Mr. Schwedler dragged on about impacts of the Civil War. Ryan and Jake sat there playing an engrossing game of finger football which was craftily concealed under the safety of the hideous foak desks we had. There were tons of random words circulating the halls of FMS. Foak (fake oak) and mandals (man sandals) were just two. Pretty much add the first letter of the descriptive word (fake, man) then combine it with the item in question (oak, sandals) and there you had it, instant word. Even the principle had caught on as eventually moobs (man boobs) was outlawed. There was only one rule in this word making: you could only combine words when you were describing something as tacky, mediocre, or just plain bad. I tried to pass the time by playing the Scwedler game. The game consisted of trying to count the wrinkles that were inevitable against his forehead. One, two, three. Every time I got close to breaking the record (nine) he changed his expression. Everything, down to the wrinkles on his forehead annoyed me. He’s one of those animated teachers whose face goes along with whatever he was saying. (You should have been there the week we watched the Battle of Gettysburg movie, pure comic gold.)
I tried to discretely watch the game but every time Schwedler passed he said very loudly in my direction, let’s keep focused now please. Jacob, Jake as he was called, was ahead by seven when the annoying Beeep of the fell (yep you got it fake bell) sent a mob of students through the door.
I thanked God that we had an assembly today because I wasn’t sure I could sit through another hour of notes. Notes were my science teacher’s claim to fame. I swear, we’ve done more notes in her class this one year than I’ve done in science every other year of my entire school career. To make it worse she turns the lights off because it’s in power point form. So not only do the repetitious words but also the darkness of the room seem to lull you to sleep. It works better than that lavender-vanilla aromatherapy junk (what a waste of ten dollars that was.) I was sure the assembly was going to be awful but it had to be better than sitting through another hour of note taking torture.
Well once again I was wrong. Nothing could be worse than this, even the little underwear in the hall incident. “It’s great to wait” the speaker sat up there proclaiming. Not so much, I would’ve liked to tell her. I’m sitting here waiting for you to shut up and believe me, it’s not so great. “Now I know you’re going to feel pressured as you go into high school, but it’s your choice. Nothing they say can change that.” I cracked a smile as I thought, “They actual think these people can relate to us. They come in with their stereotypical views on teens and proclaim how wonderful it is to wait ‘til marriage.” I’m not saying I don’t agree with them, because I do, but sorry to say, they’re already too late for about 25% of the school.
I roll my eyes in the direction of Miranda, but Jake catches my glance instead. He gives a silent laugh then smiles back. Well, that was a little awkward. Hope he’s not getting the wrong impression about which part of this assembly I’m rolling my eyes at. At least now I know he can actually see me. I was starting to think I must be invisible to guys or something. Crap, I really was starting to sound like Danica and good friend as she may be; I really didn’t want that. I didn’t have to worry much about Jake getting the wrong impression though because when I bent over to retrieve my pencil I saw who was sitting behind me: Tori. Add together athletic and beautiful adding just a dash (or a few dozen dashes) of too much confidence and you get Tori. I was feeling kind of stupid sitting there as I realized that smile was meant for Tori, not me. Sometimes I wondered why I had to be stuck with the curse of brains. Contrary to what everyone says, it really does suck to be the smart one. I gave a barely audible sigh of self pity but didn’t have time to wallow in my misery because just then, the queen of notes sent me a “warning glance.” No one’s scared of it, but I really didn’t feel like explaining to my parent’s why I got kicked out of the sex-ed assembly.
