this has no title

As I opened my eyes I noticed the plane landing, next to me was my dad “Wake up sleepy head” he said grinning “We’re here” “How long was I sleeping” I moaned my eyes half closed “The whole ride” he said “There was even a screaming baby back there and you were still sound asleep”. I usually sleep like a baby. “Sweetie” said my dad I absolutely hate it when he calls me that especially in public but I guess that’s dad’s they give you embarrassing little pet names. “Aren’t you going to be cold?” he asked “New York is a pretty cold place especially in the winter, it’s not like hot sunny California”. We just moved from California to New York that’s why we’re on this plane, My Dad wanted us to be closer to our relatives and coincidentally my step mother Sarah relatives live here too. “I’ll be fine, I mean come on New York can’t be that cold in winter”. All I had on was a pink tank top white Capri jeans and pink ballet flats it looked really good with my silky black hair and cocoa brown skin. “Okay then, but don’t say I didn’t tell you so” waving his fingers in warning. As we got our bags and got outside of the airport waiting at the pick-up area where my uncle was going to pick us up. Me and my little brother complaining that it was cold but then we stopped because we knew dad warned us about it. It was freezing cold I should’ve listened to my dad,why am I so stubborn and hard-headed but I had to deal with it.

My Uncle Finally came “Uncle Steve!” me and my brother called as he was waiting in open arms for us to give him a hug. I love Uncle Steve’s hugs he’s like a soft big Teddy Bear. “Hey kids” he said as he swallowed us up in his arms. “How was the plane?” he asked “It was great, I got to go into the pilot’s pit before we took off” said my 5 year old brother Nathaniel “And you Janet?” My Uncle asked me “How should I know I was asleep the whole ride” I said “I hope you got enough rest because we’re gonna have a big day tomorrow” he said “I’m going to help you guys move into your new house”. “Great” I said sarcastically.

When we finally got our heavy suitcases in the trunk of my uncles swamp green pickup truck which was really squishy there was barely any room for the 5 of us. My dad and uncle had the most space in the front. And I was stuck in the back with Nathaniel and Sarah. I needed space I felt really cluster phobic. “Are we there yet?” I asked “Yeah we’ll be there in about… fifteen minutes” said my dad. And by fifteen minutes he means an hour since we were in traffic. Suddenly My phone vibrated it was Mary.
Mary: R U IN NEW YORK YET?
Me: Yeah but I’m crammed in the back of my Uncle’s stupid pick up truck with Nathaniel and sarah
Mary: WOW SUCKS 4 U!! G2G BYE TXT U L8TR

Hi! I'm here to review your piece of writing obviously. Is this supposed to be a story in the future? I mean, is this an abstract or the full version? Since I did not really get the idea, but generally I liked the word choice and the overflow of thoughts.

There are some punctuation issues in your text and also some sentences need to be divided into several parts, as well as some paragraphs need to be separated as well. So I took the right to do it for you below. Hope this helps.

As I opened my eyes, I noticed the plane landing. Next to me was my dad.

“Wake up sleepy head,” he said grinning, “We’re here.”
“How long was I sleeping?” I moaned withmy eyes half closed.
“The whole ride,” he said, “There was even a screaming baby back there and you were still sound asleep”.

I usually sleep like a baby.
“Sweetie...” my dad started. I absolutely hate it when he calls me that, especially in public, but I guess that’s "dads" - they give you embarrassing little pet names.

“Aren’t you going to be cold?” he asked “New York is a pretty cold place, especially in the winter. It’s not like hot sunny California”.

We just moved from California to New York - that’s why we’re on this plane. My Dad wanted us to be closer to our relatives, and coincidentally my step mother's Sarah's relatives live here too.

“I’ll be fine. I mean, come on, New York can’t be that cold in winter”.

All I had on was a pink tank top, white Capri jeans and pink ballet flats. It looked really good with my silky black hair and cocoa brown skin.

“Okay then, but don’t say I didn’t tell you so,” waving his fingers in a warning.

As we got our bags and got outside of the airport waiting at the pick-up area where my uncle was going to pick us up. (This one is a really hard to understand sentence, I even can't rephrase it properly...) Me and my little brother were complaining that it was cold, but then we stopped because we knew dad warned us about it. It was freezing cold. I should’ve listened to my dad. Why am I so stubborn and hard-headed?! But I had to deal with it.

My Uncle Finally came.

“Uncle Steve!” me and my brother called, as he was waiting in open arms for us to give him a hug.

I love Uncle Steve’s hugs he’s like a soft big Teddy Bear.

“Hey kids,” he said, as he swallowed us up in his arms, “How was the plane?”

“It was great! I got to go into the pilot’s pit before we took off,” said my 5-year-old brother Nathaniel. “And you Janet?” my Uncle asked me.
“How should I know? I was asleep the whole ride..” I said
“I hope you got enough rest because we’re gonna have a big day tomorrow,” he said, “I’m going to help you guys move into your new house”.
“Great...” I said sarcastically.

When we finally got our heavy suitcases in the trunk of my uncle's swamp green pickup truck which was really squishy, there was barely any room for the 5 of us. My dad and uncle had the most space in the front. And I was stuck in the back with Nathaniel and Sarah. I needed space I felt really claustrophobic.
“Are we there yet?” I asked.
“Yeah we’ll be there in about… fifteen minutes,” my dad said. And by fifteen minutes he means an hour, since we were in traffic.

Suddenly, my phone vibrated. It was Mary.

Mary: R U IN NEW YORK YET?

Me: Yeah but I’m crammed in the back of my Uncle’s stupid pick up truck with Nathaniel and Sarah

Mary: WOW SUCKS 4 U!! G2G BYE TXT U L8TR

Sorry for not underlining or bolding all my corrections. I inserted a lot of commas and other punctuation; moreover, removed some words, placed everything into nice paragraphs for you. So, you better re-read the whole thing I've re-written for you to notice the difference. Really looks more as a story now and easier for the reader to perceive it. I think you just need to slow down a little bit when writing and do it in a slower pace to avoid some mistakes and these "3 in 1" sentences with no punctuation.

Hope this helps and if there's anything else you need, just PM me, I'll try to help again asap.
And... keep writing and improving your skill!


~ Victoria

Ok, I'm really confused, who is Sarah and Nathaniel, are they brothers and sisters? When does this take place?