A year and A Half

Please tell me if this is a prologue or a chapter. I'm not sure... PS. i know this totally not F.F. but it will be. It will totally be. one more thing this is revised
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Okay, so, over the course of your life you’ve probably wanted to get revenge on at least one person right? And maybe sometimes you want revenge for a petty thing, like forcing you to pick up the dog poop, or slide tackling you during soccer. Well, the reason why I want revenge on someone whom I’ve never met before is for kidnapping my twin sister.

This wasn’t just some little girl walking down an isolated street and disappearing into a van. No, we were sixteen and she was with me, home alone. It was a Monday night and we were watching Happy Gilmore. What in God's name would make this person come into our house, grab my sister--who was sitting right next to me--and leave? We told each other everything! She didn’t do anything wrong! And she wasn’t acting like she was hiding anything! It makes me so confused and angry just thinking about it!

It was actually astonishing that the star player on our school's field hockey team was so easily overpowered by the tiny woman that took her. Obviously the woman wasn't a tiny dwarf, but she was super thin. The woman who took her didn’t even try to mask herself. She walked in with bright pink stilettos and an outfit that looked like it came off a runway and just took Erin. I was too shocked to do anything. Oh, stupid, stupid me. You don’t know how many times I’ve beaten my self up over the fact that I just sat there, Adam Sandler laughing in the background. The most astonishing fact was that the woman who took Erin stood their made eye contact and said oh-so-causally,

“ Ya know, I'm not too sorry ‘bout this.” and then she walked out of the room and disappeared.

Yes that’s right. She’s not sorry about a home invasion and kidnapping. What an absolutely wicked, horrible…ugh! After what seemed like years, I sprang up and dashed for the phone, dialed the three magic numbers and the police came, and so did my weeping parents. For almost two days I was in shock. I couldn't believe something like that would happen. After that I got mad, furious actually. I wanted to rip that woman apart. How dare she come into my home and take my best friend my sister! So I started making a plan. If the police couldn't find my sister and that woman then I would. Sometimes I would dream that she would just come home saying it was a joke,or the police would find her. Well, that was a dream. Dreams and reality are two very different things.

Erin's kidnapping happened when I was sixteen. Now I'm eighteen and I'm ready to get revenge.

Hey! After reading this, I'm not entirely sure if Fantasy Fiction is the best place for it, as it does not really seem to fit into this genre. However, if it does later on I take that back.
Anyway, to the review!
I liked your opening, but I don't think you need the second comma:

Okay, so, over the course of your life you’ve probably wanted to get revenge on at least you person right?

Maybe try: "Okay, so over the course of your life you've probably wanted to get revenge on at least one person, right?" (you also wrote "you" instead of "one", I think)

This wasn’t just some little girl walking down an isolated street and some van takes her.

I think maybe "This wasn't just some little girl walking down an isolated street and some van took her."

We told each other everything! She didn’t do anything wrong!

Maybe swap these two, put the "She didn't do anything wrong!" before the "We told each other everything!"

“ Ya know, I'm not to sorry ‘bout this.” and then she walked out of the room and disappeared.

You don't need a space after the speech marks before "Ya know" and "to" needs to be "too".

Yes that’s right. She’s not sorry about a home invasion and kidnapping. What an absolutely wicked, horrible…ugh!

I felt that your last sentence sort of ruined the atmosphere/tone of your piece. It sounds (sorry if this sounds mean) a little more vulgar than your previous sentences, which were pretty good. Maybe try "What a wicked, horrible piece of work!" or something to that effect.

How dare she come into my home and take my best friend as well as sister!

Again, your phrasing is a little odd. Suggestion: "How dare she? How dare she come into my home and take my sister, who was also my best friend!?"

Overall: captivating. Enthralling. Both very good adjectives. I loved it! Do write more, because I'm intrigued as to what your main character is going to do! And if she finds her sister! ~*X*~
PS I think this is more of a prologue

I loved this.
This was great i liked how it is in first person now
and how you catch your characters personality in it.
This is captivatin and i would like to read much more.
How did you come up with this?
was life a motivation or maybe it was a idea you had.

I loved this.
This was great i liked how it is in first person now
and how you catch your characters personality in it.
This is captivatin and i would like to read much more.
How did you come up with this?
was life a motivation or maybe it was a idea you had.

Hey! So, I'm going to review this. Maybe the other parts too, if you don't mind. This was a nice beginning, I liked it.

So, cotton got a lot of the grammar stuff, but I'll get some stuff she missed.

What could have possibly been the reason for going into our house, grabbing her when she was sitting right next to me and leaving?

This sentence was kind of awkward, in my opinion. Try this: What in God's name would make this person come into our house, grab my sister--who was sitting right next to me--and leave? That's a really terrible example, but you get the point, I hope.

It was actually astonishing that the star player on our school's field hokey team was so easily overpowered by the tiny woman that took her.

Hockey is spelled wrong. It should be "Hockey"

Obviously she wasn’t tiny like a dwarf but super thin.

I'd re-word this. Obviously she wasn't a tiny dwarf, but she was super thin. Also, I wasn't sure if you were talking about Erin or the woman who took her.

I just sat [s]their[/s] there

That entire night and for the most part the next day I was in shock.

This sentence sounds awkward. I'm going to leave it to you to re-word it.

OK, the ending kind of bothered me. At first, I thought that "Dreams and reality are two very different things" was the ending. I really think that would be a better ending, the last sentence kind of killed it for me. It was telling, not showing and it wasn't that "Wow!" ending I would like. Maybe you could state that she was eighteen in the beginning on the next chapter.

Overall, I like this and I'm going to check out the other parts.