Pendragon: The Way It Was Meant To Be

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This is a set of stories that boltage, Lucy Pennykettle, and I have made up off the story of Pendragon. At the end of book 10, the last book, DJ put a little short story of what Bobby's life would've been like if he never became a Traveler. So, me and others wondered what would the others Travelers' lives be like if they never became Travelers and Saint Dane never interfered with their Territories. We have divided up the other 9 Travelers between ourselves, and here is the first part for one of mine. This is the way it was meant to be for Kasha.

***

Kasha shaded her eyes from the bright sun band above her. Sweat glistened off her black fur. The trees of the tropical forest of Eelong did little to block the sunlight. Sometimes I wish I didn't have fur like the gars, she thought to herself as she watched the gars pick food from the farm. They trudged into the field with empty brown sacks, filled them, and loaded them onto the giant, cage-like, wooden wagon that was almost filled to the top. Boon sat at the front of the wagon, holding the reins to the zenzens.

Kasha stared at Boon and admired his brown fur, and how it went with his dark green clothing. They had always been great friends since they were young kittens. Kasha's father, Seegen, loved to comment on how they looked good together. She had always liked Boon as a friend and sometimes found herself wanting to be more than friends. She always dreamed what their lives would be like together, but as a forager they found it hard to have a relationship. Always being out of the city and the short life-expectancy thanks to the tangs.

"Let's move out!" Durgen yelled, pulling Kasha out of her thoughts. The other klees turned away from the gars and jumps up on the edge of the wagon to sit. Boon snapped zenzen's reins and they quickly began to move forward, quickly moving faster because of the extra join in their legs. Kasha jumped onto the seat at the front of the wagon and sat down very close to Boon.

"Hey, Boon," Kasha said.

"Do the gars seem a little bit happier to you?" Boon asked as Kasha laid her head on his shoulder.

Kasha lifted her head and looked back at the group of gars following the wagon. They all stood a little straighter, had the hint of a smile, and they never looked away instantly when they were being stared at by a klee. "They do seem happy," Kasha said laying her head back down. She rubbed her check against Boon's shoulder to get more comfortable, and slowly, as the wagon rocked back and forth, she went to sleep.

"Why do you think they are . . ." Boon stopped in mid-sentence as he looked down at the furry, black head laying on his shoulder. Kasha purred contently in her sleep through the entire trip home.
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Hey Leth, this isn't that bad. I like it!

I only saw one teeny tiny thing.
Boon snapped zenzen's reins and they quickly began to move forward, quickly moving faster because of the extra join in their legs.
You need to add the before zenzen's. But, perfect as usual. Great job. I'll get my bit up soon. :D
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When it's only grammar and spelling you want checked, I'm your man!

Sometimes I wish I didn't have fur like the gars, she thought to herself as she watched the gars pick food from the farm.

I'd put her thoughts in italics.

Always being out of the city and the short life-expectancy thanks to the tangs.

This is a sentence fragment. I would actually have this as part of the previous sentence, separated by a comma instead of a period.

The other klees turned away from the gars and jumped up on the edge of the wagon to sit.


Boon snapped Zenzen's reins and they quickly began to move forward, quickly moving faster because of the extra join in their legs.

Zenzen's a name, correct? It should be capitalised.

She rubbed her cheek against Boon's shoulder to get more comfortable, and slowly, as the wagon rocked back and forth, she went to sleep.


That looks like everything. Nicely done. :D
the user formerly known as chibibo



So verily with the hardship, there is a relief, verily with the hardship, there is a relief.
— Quran Ch 94:5-6