A Path all my Own

A Path of My Own

Walking along a narrow trail,
Following another’s footsteps, as is bound in invisible chains.
Never swaying left or right.
Never pausing, never stopping.
Like a herd of cattle we amble along.

A side trail forks off the main trail,
Looking as though no one has traveled that way.
For once I pause, for once I resist.

Why should I have others control my life?
To have them live through me?
No, I should be able to live my own life,
Not have it lived for me,

To take that treacherous step,
Is to turn away from the forced life I had known,
To step out into the unknown, to live my life,
To break these chains.
I take that step, leaving all fears behind me,

Now that I have taken a path all my own,
I have a life of new, a life of adventure,
Everything seems unknown,
As I pass over my old life now and again,
I wonder what might of happened that day, had I not taken that one step.

--Destony Gilchrist

Welcome to YWS, Werewolf_Girl!

Don't forget that you should do two reviews for every thing you post. That way everyone will get reviews - and reviewing really helps to improve your own writing!

So, on to your poem. I didn't find it very new or exciting. It seemed really similar to The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. I'm not trying to doubt that these are sincere feelings, but, as Ezra Pound said, "Make it new."

Okay, so the majority of the poem is in present tense, as the speaker is considering following the other path. Then, in the last stanza the speaker says, "Now that I have taken a path of my own." I think it would make more sense to have the rest of the poem be in past tense, so then when the speaker talks about the decision, it will agree.

Following another’s footsteps, as is bound in invisible chains.

These words don't make any sense to me. I think you mean "Following another's footsteps, bound by invisible chains."

Like a herd of cattle we amble along.

Who is the "we"? For the rest of the poem you only talk about "I", so I think this should be "I" too.

A side trail forks off the main trail,

I find this wording awkward. Maybe something like "Another path forks off the main trail" would work better?

I take that step, leaving all fears behind me,

I think this should end in a period.

I wonder what might of happened that day, had I not taken that one step.

This should be "have".

Good luck and keep writing!
-rachel

Hello Werewolf girl! Have you per chance read Twilight? Just wondering. Anyways, I'm April, here to welcome you to YWS and review your poem. Let's get started, shall we?

Line Breaks

I found a lot that some of your lines were over- long for the rest of the poems structure; that means you just have to break some up more

Following another’s footsteps, as is bound in invisible chains.

For instance, this. You can make this a whole separate line, starting at the comma.

For once I pause, for once I resist.

Now, this line is not too long. But I still think it would sound lovely as two separate lines starting at that comma. It just sounds like something that should be broken up, mostly because you repeat three words and only change the last word before and after the comma; that sort of thing makes for perfect emphasis when split into two lines.

I wonder what might of happened that day, had I not taken that one step.

This line is the one that needs to be separated the most. At the comma, of course . Sorry, I know I always tell you at the comma, but it just seems appropriate when broken there. This line stuck out like a sore thumb, so please put it into two lines instead of one.

Me Picking on One of Your Stanzas

I think you used too many questions in this stanza;

Why should I have others control my life?
To have them live through me?
No, I should be able to live my own life,
Not have it lived for me,

I would try incorporating the questions into these lines in a way that does not use question marks. At least for some of them. Or, you could make them statements instead. Also, since your last two lines of this stanza are repetitive, I would consider deleting one or two of the questions all together.
Not to mention, you end this stanza in a comma when it really should be a period, based on the fact that, going onto your next stanza, it has nothing to do with others living your life for you.
P.S. this stanza just comes bam out of the blue. I don't think it goes along well with the rest of your poem, and what it is based on. You could write a separate poem maybe about others living their life through yours instead. Just saying.

Over- all
You did have some issues with line breaks. I found no grammatical errors, and that's always a good thing.
A good poem. Yes, it did very much remind me of Robert Frost's work, The Road Not Taken. But that was a great poem
And I really do think you did a good job on this. It just needs a little work and TLC, that's all. (TLC= tender loving care).

~April