Nah, just kidding, constructive criticism would be nice. I don't want EVERYONE just going "omg ur story is da best" or variations on that central theme. Even though I know you all want to.
REVISED CHAPTER ONE
Chapter 1
New Kid at School
The sun was descending towards evening and filtering through his bedroom window, painting a bright square on the ground and illuminating all the dust floating in the air, when Xavier H. Adiloth opened the door. It wasn’t night yet, but he was tired. He had just gotten home from playing dodgeball with some friends on the school football field, and dodgeball with his friends was always intense.
I suppose it was worth it, he thought. After all, school starts again tomorrow.
This was true, for that day was the last day of a two-week spring break, which Xavier had enjoyed greatly. Naturally, he eyed the prospect of going back to school with disdain.
With a sigh, he slumped down on his bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars and planets glued to his ceiling, wondering what dream would await him that night. Nearly every night, he had a dream that he remembered vividly. Some were happy, some were sad, some were scary, and others were simply odd. Little did he know, his next dream would have a lasting effect on his teenage years—and ultimately—his entire life.
As he lay asleep on his bed, the cool night breeze gently flowing through his window, a sudden cry announced the arrival of the dream.
“Xavier!” shouted a voice. “Help me!”
The voice came from a girl being dragged away by a pair of burly men wearing brigandines and leather pants, and carrying an assortment of weapons. Medieval soldiers, by the look of them. She was wearing a purple T-shirt and jeans, and looked to be about thirteen years old. Her hair fell brown and wavy to the middle of her back, and her eyes shone as gray as the sea on a cloudy day. Her left hand, which was furiously twisting and shaking in the rough grip of one of the men holding her, had a tattoo of a lily blossom on it.
She called again. “Xavier, help me!”
Xavier longed to run after her, and to kill or injure the soldiers with the sword at his belt, but he couldn't move. Then, to his horror, his vision started to fade. The last thing he saw was the girl’s face, calling out to him.
With a start, he awoke. All he had was his green pajamas, himself, and the various items in his bedroom. He looked at his alarm clock. It read three thirty in the morning. He pulled the covers over him, as they had slipped off—probably during his dream—and tried to get back to sleep.
At seven-ten, the ring of his alarm clock woke him. Drowsily, he got out of bed and dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue and white striped shirt. He walked out of his bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. His mother was eating a bowl of oatmeal, and he heard the sounds of the morning news coming from the living room.
“So, I see you’ve decided to get up today,” said his mother, chuckling.
His eyes—green as a frog’s back—narrowed. “I was only joking last night, Mom. I wasn’t really going to die of sadness in my sleep if school was going to start again. Anyway, what do we got for breakfast?”
“We’re out of your cereal, but you can make yourself some toast.”
“Toast it is.”
After he ate his toast, he grabbed his backpack from the hall closet, put on his dark blue jacket, and went outside to wait for the bus. He didn’t really like having to get out so early to wait, but the school was several miles away and he was the early on the route.
After about five minutes of standing on the sidewalk in the chilly morning wind, watching cars go by, the bus came. Xavier got on and sat next to a few of his friends; Phillip, Joseph, and Kate. As the bus made its stops along the route, they all talked about everything they had done, as Phillip and Kate had been away for the entire break.
“I got to go swimming in the ocean,” said Kate, a wide smile on her face. “I found a whole bunch of seashells too!”
“Lucky,” muttered Joseph, looking downward shyly and placing a hand on his freckled cheek. “All I found was an old book of mine in the closet.”
“My trip was more fun than that, Kate,” said Phillip. “I got to go to the Baseball Hall of Fame and then to New York City!”
“Well you’re the only person in the world who likes that moronic sport,” said Kate, smacking him on the head.
“Hey!” he shouted. “If I’m the only one who likes baseball, you’re the only one who likes hurting people!” Everyone laughed.
After about thirty minutes, Jack Riders Elementary School came into view, and Xavier and Phillip walked to the sixth grade classroom. As they sat down at their desks near the computers at the back, their teacher walked in, followed by the majority of the others in the class.
Once everyone had settled in, the teacher beckoned to a girl near the front of the room, who walked up and turned around. However, Xavier didn’t notice, as he was staring out the classroom window at a pair of chickadees, flitting around the sturdy branches of a maple tree.
“This is Lily Adravinla,” said the teacher. “She just moved here from Arkansas, so be nice to her,
okay.” She spoke the last bit with a slight edge.
Xavier gave a slight groan. He didn’t like girls. He doubted that even his impending release of hormones could make him like them. The only females he considered worth talking to were his teacher, his mother, his two cousins, and Kate.
Therefore, he wasn’t interested one bit when he casually glanced upward so he could learn what she looked like. As soon as his eyes fell upon her, he gasped and clutched his chest, feeling as if his heart had been hit by a sledgehammer! Phillip looked at him in puzzlement.
“You feeling okay there?” he asked.
Xavier did not answer. All of his attention was fixed on Lily.
Her wavy brown locks fell to the middle of her back. Her eyes were as gray as a wolf’s fur. But that was not the main source of Xavier’s astonishment. For on the back of her left hand, there was a tattoo. A tattoo of a lily blossom.
