Someday

Someday

I smile; I nod,
I say everything's okay.
Hoping I can get the courage,
To tell the truth someday.

You look deep in my eyes,
And still can't see my pain.
You say you need me for strength,
And everything will be okay someday.

I know you say you love me,
And that you'd do anything for me.
But you still abuse; I still cry,
And wait until someday finally arrives.

amoerizzle wrote:You look deep in my eyes,
And still can't see my pain.
You say you need me for strength,
And everything will be okay someday.

That one didn't ryme in the last two lines, and I think that needs improving. I didn't get any feeling of what you were trying to convey....

You look deep in my eyes,
And still can't see my pain.
You say you need me for strength,
And everything will be okay someday.

I know you say you love me,
And that you'd do anything for me.
But you still abuse; I still cry,
And wait until someday finally arrives.

I don't exactly understand the final stanza, and it needs to be a bit clearer.

Overall, it's ok. Keep up the good work!

I found it really boring. Sorry, but you used an over used topic with hackneyed expressions. You need something with more oomph, more originality. I can't really say I like this.