MAGIC.

3 posts

too short for a first chapter of a semi-short story?

  • yes 67%
  • no 33%
  • wtf what's going on? No votes

Total votes: 6

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Gender Female
Points 300
Reviews 0
(1: Regan)
There’s a piece of red paper stuck to my locker with a piece of tape. I wonder what it could be. Maybe a note telling me I have to go see the principal. The principal and I are pretty tight, since I rescued her cat from a Dumpster once.
I set my backpack on the ground and take the paper off of the front of my locker. I start to unfold it, holding it away from my face like they say to do on bottles of pop and champagne and the like. Safety first, after all.
There’s nothing inside but four words written in loopy, girlish handwriting on the middle of the paper:
Run away with me.
i will unleash the f'ing bats




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 158
Hi.
With regards to it being so short, it really depends on the kind of short story you're writing. I noticed it said 'Regan' by the '1', so I'm guessing there'll be rotating narratives? In that case, I think it's not too short, though if you maintain this sort of chapter length the whole way through, it could be offputting to readers (would be to me, anyway).
Now, nit-picks, of which I can only find one! *Is dissatisfied*
Dumpster
Yeeeah, I'd say that capital D is unnecessary.
So all good, I guess. You've set Regan's tone very well--she sounds like a real person.

Au revoir!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 370
Reviews 541
Interesting. It's short, but like the Lauren above said it's not bad since it seems like you will have rotating narrators.

I like the tone of Regan, it makes your character sound real.

And also, the 'run away with me' that ends the chapter is an excellet hook. I automatically wanted to read more. =)

Keep Writing
Lauren
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