Harriet

Oh, Harriet
Why did you go?
Why did you have to,
Leave us so?

You were my favorite,
I loved you the best,
The one who stood out,
Among the rest.

Oh, Harriet
I just want you to know,
That you were my favorite chicken,
I just wish, you didn’t go!


I was bored when I wrote this.

why exactly did you post this? no offense, but it's not of very high literary value, or something you can really "improve" on, to help you become a better writer. it's cool if you want to just show off your poems, if you think it's sorta funny, I guess, but I assume the point of this site is to get people to be better writers, not just to show of their work. anyway, not really not an attack on you, just sayin.

In terms of the actual poem, the rhythm is very inconsistent. Here are the lines, broken up by syllables:

4
4
5
3

5
5
5
4

5
4
4
4

4
6
8
7

the last stanza in particular is a noticeable outlier to the reader, because it retains the rhyming scheme yet has a completely different meter, and it really messes stuff up. the first three aren't as noticeably bad, but they're still inconsistent and don't stick together well, so to speak. in terms of the content... can't say much. I didn't find it hilarious, but you never know, each to his own. just don't expect it to be accepted by any literary journal any time soon.

At first i thought you were talking about a girl who had run away. I thought "Oh no, it's going to be all sad and depressing." Then i got to the end and realised it was about a chicken!

wow its about a chicken and this seems a little dumb but you just needed to write something i guess. i need to do that sometimes to. it seems repetitive and a little boring. it is definatley dramatic, yeah, but you need more detail kinda.

as the reader i think it needs more detail and better words. if it has that it would be a tad better.
i laughed out loud when i read it was a bout a chicken.

okay i know i already wrote a review but desperate times call for desperate measures.

the poem needs a little more meat in it.

it is a good poem but the rhymes need to be more fitting. you know what I'm saying?


well other than a few errors the poem is pretty good.

Aw, did your chicken die? when i read this, i thought it was about a person. Chickens are cute. i used to have an obsession with them when i was younger. the other reviewers are being very, VERY VERY insensitive. you were writing a poem about somebody you cared about deeply and miss a lot. It doesnt matter if that "somebody" is a chicken! You had a very nice relationship with your Harriet, and now that Harriet is missing, you miss her deeply and truely and your emotions are valid. It doesnt matter if the poem was short. it still has tone, mood, and rhythm. length does not matter - and Harriet has a rightful place in your heart. You people ought to be ashamed of yourself for criticizing Harriet!

Nice poem! At first I thought, like most everybody else, that you were talking about a person. I thought maybe your sister. But no, it was a chicken! It was very nice though.
I do think, however, that the rythmn was kind of... off in the last stanza. I think the chicken part was too long.

But anyway, your poem was so creative (chicken haha). Props!

-- Miss Ching

Don't listen to all the negative things, I really liked your poem. It wasn't perfect, but it was venting your sorrow. Who cares that it's about a chicken? Just because chickens aren't conventional pets and people don't connect to them as easily as they do to dogs or cats doesn't mean that they are lesser animals!

Er, yeah....

I do think that as a poem, it lacked 'oomph' but, hey, venting your emotions is part of what poetry is about and I enjoyed reading about it.

At first I thought you were writing about a person. But I love that it didn't turn out as a depressing poem. I simply loved it. Its so wow. Keep going. How did you get the idea anyway? I understand the thing I-write-weird-poems-when-I'm-bored thing... I do that too, but Ive never written about a chicken before. I love it. I wrote a song about Columbus yesterday...^^.

I was totally like other people, i thought this was going to be a deep, depressing poem about suicide or something! but no! It was . . . original. Did your chicken actually die or was this just a random *whatshalliwriteaboutnow* kinda poem? well whatever it was good anyway, just check up on the rhythm in the final verse.
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