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Hi Erica! Nice to meet you.

I like this poem's theme of how the choices we make affect our lives. However, in some places it seems awkward. I've done a line-by-line crit below.

I’m walking down an open road
looking behind to see
all the paths I’ve chosen for me. "For me" is not really necessary here, and it's also gramatically incorrect: "for myself" would be correct.
Sometimes a decision between left and right I get what you're trying to convey, but "between left and right" is awfully cliche. Maybe you could phrase it differently?
has kept me up all night,
wondering if the choice I made make, not made
will turn out in the end.
What about the next time
The next day These two lines are both fragments and not punctuated. I would either take them out or rewrite them as complete sentences.

Sometimes the choice between what’s right for me
and what’s right for them, Cut the comma
keeps me turning back again. I like the idea of being caught between your own wishes and others', but I don't like the rhyme. It's forced.
Was the choice I made
Right or wrong? Up until now you haven't been capitalizing the beginnings of lines that start in the middle of a sentence. It should be all one way or all the other. Personally, I prefer not to have new lines capitalized, but you should choose whichever way you like better.
What if it’s the only thing that keeps me hanging on? Again, I feel like this rhyme is only here for the sake of rhyming.

The decision was made.
I’ll have to live with it
for now I don't like these two lines at all. They don't have any rhythm.
I’ll ignore what I wanted. Or this one, either.
In the hopes of moving on
Once filled with regrets Here's inconsistent capitalization again.
I no longer feel haunted
For now, the choice is long gone I like what you're saying here about not being haunted by a choice that's already been made, but it seems to me that being haunted by the past happens all the time... Maybe you could include something about why you aren't haunted by it any more? Also, you need some kind of punctuation here.

I am walking down an open road
And the next path bend
Is straight ahead The word choice in your last line feels awkward to me. The reader has the idea of a bend in the path, and then you use the word "straight." They don't go together. You need punctuation here, too.

***

The first thing I think you should do is to ditch the rhyming. It throws the reader off to have it in some places and not others, and to be honest, it doesn't do anything for your poem. It just makes a lot of the lines look forced. I also think you should tidy up the punctuation and either capitalize all the beginnings of lines or don't.

After that, try reading your poem aloud. That will help you establish a rhythm. Also, you don't use much vivid or figurative language. The open road, should I choose left or right metaphor is heavily overused. That doesn't mean you can't use it, but you should use some original phrases too, to make it interesting.

I hope I've helped you, and that I haven't seemed too harsh. I think you really could have something good here if you work a little more on it. Good luck and keep writing!

Hey, Erica! ^^ I'm Evi, and I decided to take a quick look at your poem. First of all, I'd like to say that I enjoyed it very much. I'll just point out some things that you should take simply as suggestions.

I’m walking down an open road
looking behind to see
all the paths I’ve chosen.
Sometimes a decision between left and right
has kept me up all night,
wondering if the choice I made
will turn out in the end.
What about the next time,
The next day?

Sometimes the choice between what’s right for me
and what’s right for them
keeps me turning back again.
Was the choice I made
right or wrong?
What if it’s the only thing that keeps me hanging on?

The decision was made.
I’ll have to live with it
for now,I’ll ignore what I wanted
in the hopes of moving on.
Once filled with regrets
I no longer feel haunted
for now, the choice is long gone.

I am walking down an open road
And the next path bend
Is straight ahead

So, everything I highlighted was something that rhymes. Now, as a whole, rhyming doesn't bother me. Some of these rhymes (particularly the one in the second stanza) I actually quite like. However, I found it difficult to appreciate the rhymes when they were cattered so randomly and spontaneously; whenever a rhyme came up, it didn't sound quite right because it was in a different spot than the last time. You haven't set up a concrete rhyming scheme, which, although not particularly necessary, would benefit a poem of this type. So, my suggestion is either to scrap the rhyming altogether and go free-form, or establish a more stable, balanced rhyming scheme, such as having all the rhymes on the ast two sentences of the poetic paragraph (AKA stanza, of course).

Also, although I really liked the last three lines, I think you could connect them a bit more. I think you're implying that the next major choice to be made is coming up on this road you're taking. Is that right? If so, perhaps elaborate a bit more on that thought of the next big decision, and explore that pathway for a stanza, perhaps. I feel like the jump from that stanza about regrets and haunting to the last stanza is too sudden and too unrelated.

Otherwise, good job, and I hope to see you around! ^^ PM me if you need anything.

~Evi

Honestly, i didn't plan on rhyming. I didn't even notice any rhyming until it was pointed out. Completly unintentional.

Hey Erica.


The biggest thing missing from this poem is any kind of imagery, and it misses that a lot. You use the idea of paths, but if you think about it, that’s not the most original, yes? I’d like to see some lovely new pictures, more description. Try metaphors, similes, etc. (see definitions here: http://www.kyrene.org/schools/brisas/Su ... oetry2.htm).
You’re structure etc. is good. It’s the content that could use some work.
I have to disagree with Evi, though, about your rhyming. I didn’t even notice they where there, but they unconsciously aids the smooth rhythm. Accidental rhymes are the best kind; they're the most natural. =)

So just brush up on your description/imagery and I think you'll have a really great piece. xD