“Ian I can’t get down!” Kali yelled from the highest branch of the oak tree.
“Yes you can. Just go down one branch at a time,” he replied.
“What if I fall?” she asked trying to ignore the lump in her throat.
“You won’t. I’ll catch you if you fall. I’ll save you,” he said.
“What if you can’t?” Kali questioned, hugging the tree for dear life.
“I promise, Kali. I won’t let anything happen to you. Don’t you trust me?”
Kali took in a shaky deep breath and started to climb down the tree. She didn’t dare look down, simply because she knew it would cause her to fall. Kali started to gain confidence as she felt the branches get thicker beneath her fingers and toes.
Then, as she grabbed the branch above her head, it snapped. She lost her balance and tumbled out of the tree. She waited to land on the ground, to feel the intense pain of breaking her arm again. She didn’t feel either. She landed on something squishy, and arms folded around her.
Kali jumped off of Ian and as he stood up, she kissed him. Ian turned beet red and turned his glowing face to the ground.
“Girls have cooties,” he said, kicking the dirt with his toe. “You’d better hope I don’t get ‘em.”
Kali laughed and ran for the next tree.
----
“Hey, wait for me,” I whined, struggling to catch up with the boy in front of me.
“C’mon Kali, we’re almost there,” he called back, excitedly. “It’ll be worth it. You’ll see.”
“I need to walk now. Please Ian, you know I can’t run as fast as you,” I said slowing my pace. Up ahead, Ian stopped moving and started to walk beside me.
I felt heat emanating from Ian’s body, and although I was sweating, I shivered, enjoying it.
I had liked Ian ever since I was five years old. I would follow him around like a lovesick puppy dog. I suppose that’s why I don’t fit in with the other girls at school. While they played with make-up and Barbie’s, I was climbing trees and playing baseball.
I always hoped that when I got older my crush on Ian would fade away, but here I am, fourteen years old and still trailing after him as if my life depended on it. He didn’t seem to mind. He was my best friend.
His hand was so close to mine that if I moved just one of my fingers, they could easily intertwine around his. My heart thumped frantically at the idea. My stomach felt as if the butterflies were having a pillow fight.
“Look there it is,” Ian said, pointing in front of us. I pushed my sweaty bangs out of my eyes and peered at, what appeared to be, a river. Ian’s curly black hair flapped wildly against his head as he looked around, smiling. He seemed so happy here.
“My Mama said I couldn’t stay out too late,” I said nervously. I wasn’t the best swimmer, but then again I didn’t want to leave Ian.
“It’s only noon, Kali,” Ian laughed. He took off his shirt and I looked away, blushing. I always stared just a little too long. I stared at the smooth, weathered rock he was standing on. There was a pretty steep drop from the rock to the water.
“Watch this,” he called from atop the rock. He jumped, doing a front flip. As soon as he resurfaced he smiled at me, a smug look on his face. I rolled my eyes.
“Show off,” I yelled. He swam to the edge of the river and grabbed my ankle.
“I’ll pull you in,” he threatened.
“No you won’t,” I replied, extracting my leg from his grip. “You know I can’t swim that well.”
“I’ll help you. If anything happens I’ll make sure to get you out. I promise I won’t let you drown, I’ll save you if I need too,” Ian said, his gray-green eyes serious for once.
My mind jerked back to the time we were five. He had kept his promise then, and I knew he would keep it now. I looked at him with trust filled eyes and slipped into the cool water. While the water came up to Ian’s chest, it reached the tops of my shoulders.
The river current thrashed against my legs, but I held my ground. Ian splashed me and swam away, daring me to follow. I stroked towards him, in hopes that I would dunk him, but stubbed my toe against a sharp rock.
“Ow,” I cried, lifting it up to see the damage. It was a mistake. The current knocked my other leg out from under me, pushing me beneath the surface.
I thrashed and kicked, earning a lungful of air before being sucked right back down. My energy was fading and my lungs were screaming in protest.
“Ian!” I yelled, once I made it up again. I couldn’t see him. The river must be carrying me away from him.
I tried to kick to the surface again, but the water was too deep now. I sucked in brackish water. My lungs burned and my heart slowed. A red-black cloud was forming at the edges of my vision. I swallowed more water and my body started to move in slow motion. I needed air. My eyes closed and I stopped moving entirely. I felt a last moment of peace before I gave into the sweet, caressing darkness.
---- 3 hours later ----
Ian held Kali’s limp body in his arms. Tear streamed freely down his cheeks, occasionally falling in her hair.
Her body had been beaten badly by the rocks and leaves were stuck in her locks. Sorrow and guilt caused him to wail. Here was the body of the only girl he’d ever loved and he had loved her so much. He had promised to protect her but he had let her die.
Ian lay next to Kali, feeling nothing except his soul-crushing grief.
First of all
Okay, so. I'm not saying that was some amazing paragraph of literature that I wrote right there, but did you see how I used the description of the water and turned it into a metaphor? You have to include imagery in your writing, so that the reader can imagine the scene. As horrible as this may sound, you want your reader to be drowning right along with Kali.
