cold fire in my idle hearth

I sat in my massive parlor swathed in the glare of my burning hearth.
I sat there freezing; I sat there dying. The flame burned upwards denying me its warmth.

My eyes hung empty; staring at an indifferent being.
This flame so bright, yet so cold is an empyreal mirror that dons my face.

I fall to the floor, crawling forwards with hands stretched forward, begging for heat.

This very circumstance re-enacts a memory; recalling an unaddressed remorse.

My shrinking shadow symbolizes a dying child stumbling forward into my presence entreating benevolence only to receive indifference.

My own heartlessness had turned on me.
It had thrown me into reality’s spiritual annihilation as I had dropped that poor child into my emotional abyss.

That child had been turned hideous by that exact same indifference wielded by other people on countless occasions.
She plunged into the ice and the river Seine seeking sanctuary from the living and their cruelty.
She had been granted that freedom, her soul rising as a snowflake returning to heaven.

I had grown powerful and fat in my avarice; decadent in my privilege.
I plunged into the fire and flames preferring purgatory over these dark recognitions.
Being denied even that, my black innards spill away to nothing.

The greatest of rivers would never be able to wash away my fowl stain on the world.

only those in touch with the lord feel the loss of that child and weep for her bitterly.

(I'm sorry if you don't like this )

Monument! June here!

I haven't read anything by you in so long, it's terrible. So, let's revise this first and then I'll give you my thoughts on it.

I sat their freezing; I sat their dying.

• Here, you're using their in the possessive sense, or talking about people. There is the correct word you want to use, dear.

My eyes hang empty; they were staring at an indifferent being.

• I would drop the "they were"; it's staging, and not really giving us anything here, dearie.

This flame so bright, yet so cold is an empyreal mirror that dons my face.

• Did you mean imperial?


- * -

So.

I do like this. I love what it symbolizes, what it means, all that good stuff. As far as improvement goes, I think that you can improve by dividing this up into stanzas.

The theme was... well, slightly disturbing, but that's okay! It's work like this that are eye openers and so on. Good job.

I think you did rather well relating this to your audience. Good work, Soul. Keep it up!

Loved it.

Juniper