A monotonous Grievance

Not everything could be rationalized nor be explained with reasons but i KNOW IN MY HEART that EVERYTHING IS AS IS because there are reasons. These are either HIDDEN and FORBIDDEN or exposed as truths or realities.

Sometimes I think i feel this or that then eventually i myself am not sure of whether i really am capable of feeling something.

I’m ANGRY, DEPRESSED, FRUSTRATED, DISTURBED, BETRAYED,ACCUSED and PRESSURED.

I’d say im stressed, disheartened and burdened to the extent of wrecking my own limit. I’d then resolve to blaming the usual stuff. Because..yes, they are to blame.

I always pray to God that He rid me off any care at all. I pray to Him to help me..to make me feel indifferent so i wouldnt hurt anymore..to not harbour any hatred anymore…and then ill cry to Him…get angry with Him….complain to Him…threaten Him…then it dawns on me..

I create my own problems.

He promised me that He is in control but i chose to get tired of it all.

And now I reap the life debris i convened to live with.

Its Curiosity that kills me why thrive to be the best but settle for less.

Why cry if we could smile. Why be lonely if we could be happy. Why choose to feel bad when you have a friend who’d kill just to make everything else better.

I think that’s the worst problem i created for myself.

I lived for that. I chose to stay getting fed up. Because im a spoiled brat to God. I want affection like no other. I want something unique, different and overwhelming. I want something only i would experience but perpetual.

I need an instant embrace that would linger for every fragile second.




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[Z, i need your warm optimism. Brush me with some of your sparkly gold dust please]

Later slugger*

x

i KNOW IN MY HEART that EVERYTHING IS AS IS because there are reasons

Should be:

I KNOW IN MY HEART that EVERYTHING IS AS IS because there are reasons

Sometimes I think i feel this or that then eventually i myself am not sure of whether i really am capable of feeling something.

I’m ANGRY, DEPRESSED, FRUSTRATED, DISTURBED, BETRAYED,ACCUSED and PRESSURED.

With a couple minor changes:

Sometimes I think I feel this or that. Then, eventually, I, [s]myself,[/s] am not sure of whether I really am capable of feeling something.

I’m ANGRY, DEPRESSED, FRUSTRATED, DISTURBED, BETRAYED, ACCUSED and PRESSURED.

Its Curiosity that kills me why thrive to be the best but settle for less

Don't forget your apostrophe with "it's". If you're not sure if it needs the apostrophe, replace it with 'it is'. in this case, you'll find 'it is' works, so it needs the apostrophe.


I love your torrent of feelings and all of the emotion in the piece. I would recommend not using the caps and the bold, for the words in themselves work. Also, at some points (like the second one I quoted), your wording can be confusing just because of a lack of commas. Try reading your piece out loud and see where it makes sense to put the commas. You'll find that doing so makes your prose easier to read. Finally, don't forget to capitalize your "I"s.

Very good piece, though. I know how you feel with most of it. If you really feel this way, just remember that problems never last, and hard times must end. =)

oh thank you for that!:) Actually, i didn't proofread this at all and so i forgot to edit out the commas, caps and all that jazz. But thanks for reminding though!

<3