It is meant to be more descriptive than anything.
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My bare feet felt cold against the damp ground of our front lawn as I toyed dangerously wit the idea of walking along the foreboding river, where stories of rape and murder hung thick in the air, like a fog. My rationality took over and guided my wet feet onto the tar of the busier roads.
I walked continuously down Sunset Avenue, wary of the shadows cast by the dim street lights, scared by the movement of the darkness caused by the headlights of passing cars.
The trees hung over me like ominous demons waiting to catch me off-guard. I turned, momentarily distracted by the music blaring from a passing car. As I turned back a twisted hand of bark and twigs caught in my hair, pulling strands loose and leaving them tickling the nape of my neck.
The air around me was cold and damp, the ice cold wisps of wind breathing down my neck, sending a chill down my spine like cold fingers desperately grasping and taking the last of my sanity.
The musty smell of the damp ground rose up and caressed my senses, the first sense of something normal I had experienced all evening. The noisy crickets creaked carelessly as I passed them, calling out to the dark night for salvation from pressing loneliness.
I violently pulled my head away from the evil claws, turned down the next street and started running. My numb feet began to sting as they pounded against the asphalt while small stones and seemingly insignificant shards of glass cut my skin open. I cried out in pain as a stone sliced my heel open – seeking mercy from the world for just a night.
I slowed down as I saw my place of refuge at the end of the street, as safe haven from the creepy shadows and soul starved trees. As I got closer to the house, I saw the light from the windows spill out onto the street, casting away the shadows and exorcising the demons that bit at my heels as I ran.
I desperately hammered on the door, clinging to the hope of somebody rescuing me. I waited impatiently at the bright blue door for an answer and when I did not get one I called out and knocked again.
Light flooded the pathway as warm, comforting arms enclosed around me and put the demons at bay again.
Prose & Description: Very strong, but there are certain parts where it looks purple. A lot of description is great, but you don't want to confuse us with it. 