But there’s no way, no, none. He’s definitely taken. You can see it in his eyes, probably why he didn’t look down. I hopped on my bike and rode the rest of the way home. Is it just me, or does the sky seem so much brighter? Does the burning sun seem more calm and beautiful? Does my life just happen to fade away in place of a glorious, romantic one in one quick ride home? Does love?
Sorry, sometimes I get just a bit of Romeo and Juliet stuck in my mind and then it drifts toward my dialogue.
The rest of the ride was lifeless. Boring. I smelled a few more barbecues along the way, and alcohol as well. My bike started bumping up and down as the old, road with cracks came up. Bump. Bump. I hate that road.
A green, wooden sign off the road said I was entering Lake Varuna. And what’s funny is we don’t have one stinking lake in this whole town.
About a block away from the sign is Market Square.
The café’s connected to a bunch of other stores, Safeway, Starbucks, Hair Cuttery, all that stuff. Market Square is the main attraction in Lake Varuna. Really. There’s these little ugly trees in front of the stores, which get watered by random old ladies, who can’t bear to see such ugly trees, about every week. There’s a huge parking lot, which only gets filled about a fifth. A fourth on weekends.
The people that live around here don’t really consider themselves Los Angeles residents. They’re like separate, in their own little island. It gets annoying because I love LA, but I live with it.
I chained my bike to the nearest rail and prayed no one would steal it. This is the safest area you can get around LA, so I’m positive no one will. And it has a lock. I entered Bender’s Café.
I immediately smelled a whole mix of delicious scents. Crisp, sweet muffins were coming hot of the rod, warm thick cocoa poured in big, white mugs. This made the snack stands in the city look like a big pile of trash. I couldn’t wait to start my feast.
I walked up to the bar and laughed as I saw mom trying to wash three dishes at one time. We haven’t exactly gotten a dish washer yet.
The café’s completely modern, and quite leafy. It looks sort of like Starbucks, except green. The wooden floor creaks, by the way, and there’s these little green coffee tables, about a dozen of them all around the café. Their metal, and let me tell you, you’re butt will be quite numb after you sit on them for over two minutes.
I chose the two comfy chairs with green flowers all over, (mom made me choose that pattern). But I wouldn’t care if Winnie the Pooh was on those chairs, I just needed something more comfortable then school chairs.
There’s also these cool green lights hanging from the ceiling, and by the way, the café’s painted green. At least all the stuff is different shades, right? I can immediately pick out lime green, sea green, electric green, and dark green.
My mom picks out all the designs, so don’t blame me. I took a seat on the high wooden stools. The only thing I like about the café, (besides the yummy ice cream), is the bar. I hate sitting awkwardly at a tiny table in Starbucks.
I looked around for a bit. There was an elder man sitting way back, reading The Lake Veruna, our town’s newspaper, and drinking coffee. He was wearing a fisher’s jacket, and old school jeans. He looked nice, if I could choose a grandpa, I’d choose him.
Another member of my family lost, even before I was born! I know my granddad died in a car accident because mom was talking to Aunt Julie about it, but that was years ago. I remember almost nothing she said. Mom doesn’t say anything. She wants to live in the moment. I would like to say I do too, but the past is nice too.
To mom, past is bad. Very bad. Too me, it’s melancholy. Sweet, but depressing. Nice, sometimes.
An Asian teenager, possibly college guy, was sitting with his laptop in front of the window next to the door. He looked like he was going to rip his hair out. That doesn’t really make me very excited about college, does it?
There were a few other people scattered here and there through the café, but they all looked too normal to care about. Sigh. I wonder if people think that about me.
"Hey baby, how was your first day o’ high school? Meet any guys? Hmm?” my mom asked curiously. She was still washing the dishes. I walked over and got my apron out. I even get my own name tag!
“Er, yeah. But it was-”
“Tell. Me. Everything! When? Where? Why?-”
“Okay, okay!”
As you can see my mom gets involved in my life. Too much. She’s the typical American mom, except she’s Spanish.
I have to admit, my mom’s not quite a looker. For one, there’s these burn marks all over her face. For two, she’s a size 18. I’m a teeny tiny 2. But she’s the best mom anyone could have. Sometimes.
But the thing that’s so great about my mom is there are so many stories she has to tell! And there are so, so many, she never repeats one. Which is weird because I thought mothers were supposed to say things like a zillion times.
“It was nothing. I just, ran into this guy after school-”
“What’s his name?” she asked.
“Kade Levy,” I sighed. She was going to ask me everything. Everything. I should of just said no.
“ya like ‘em, eh?”
I felt so dumb for liking him already, when I don’t even know him, but I do. Sort of. And that’s an understatement.
Besides how can a midget with a flat chest ever be noticed? I have size 5 feet, and am 5’2’. I haven’t grown since the 6th grade, damn it!
Anyways.
“ Chica, listen to me!”
“UGH! Okay! Well, he’s okay I guess. But not my type.” That wasn’t exactly a lie, he’s not my type. I usually go for sporty, popular guys. But smart, sporty, popular guys work too.
“Look, can I get something to eat please? I didn‘t have lunch ‘cause you forgot to cash in the money.” Finally my mom didn’t interrupt me, I could see she was thinking.
“Kayla, take over will ya?” she hollered from across the room.
I forgot to add my mom’s loud.
“I’ll be there in a minute hon,” my mom said turning back to me. She walked over to the pantry and tossed me a bagel.
Kayla Spring’s the only worker, (besides me), mom has hired at Bender’s Café. For the first few years mom tried to run it all by herself, but then I talked her into sense. I was the first worker hired.
And then Kayla came along, which cut my pay check by a fourth. Kayla’s pimply and goes to community college. That’s pretty much her.
Mom headed to the backroom, I followed. I felt like I was going to court, I should hire a lawyer probably. If mom’s interested in this guy, I’ll never see light again. I’ll have to drag my sleeping bag to the backroom.
I sighed. I should at least give her a rough summary, I mean she doesn’t get to talk about boys with me very much lately. Or ever.
I took a seat on the old, purple bean bag and relaxed. After a thirty minute bike ride your legs get a bit numb, or at least for me.
“So.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Mi chica, say something! Lord!” she squeezed my upper arm.
I moved uncomfortably around my bean bag. Jeez, one moment she’s dieing of excitement, the next it looks likes she going to kill me.
“Oh mama, it‘s nothing!-”
“Is he smart?” she asked out of the blue. She was walking in small circles. Her stilettos clicked against the ceramic floor loudly.
I thumbed around for the correct words, and finally came to the conclusion of “ Well, yeah. It looks like he is, but I’m not sure.” and took a bit out of the stale bagel. At least it was plain.
“Really? That’s nice, to have a smart boy for a change,” my mom said. What was she talking about? For a change? And what was the ‘to have’ thing.
“Okay, you inspected me. Are you done yet?” I muttered.
“No. Now how does he look?” my mom asked. This was going to be the part that took a little more effort to lie about.
“Normal I guess. Dark brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin, tall. Just fine I suppose,” I said.
“Is he nice?”
“Nooo, I just like him because he has straight A’s in trig,” I joked.
“And how'd ya meet 'em?”
“I told you, I just crashed into him while riding home. That’s. All.” I moved my hand back and forth my arm. It was warm, and smooth. I relaxed a bit and took another bite.
“You crashed into him!? How many times do I gotta tell ya to bike slow, Camilla!”
“Many,” I said guiltily, “But we both didn’t get hurt so it doesn’t matter, right?” I asked pleadingly. She licked her lips.
“You’ll be workin' till the café closes tonight, no additional salary,” my mom decided.
“But, don’t you want to hear about Kade?” I asked smartly.
“Kade Levy can wait.” She walked out. So it ended on a bad note. At this moment I wasn’t exactly loving my mom, or her annoying Spanish/ Brooklyn accent.
Well, look on the positive side. This conversation didn’t last over two minutes. I tied my rough, green apron in a big knot, and stepped up. I had to work for almost five, long hours. And then the whole night would be just me and homework, and maybe a half an hour chat online with Jenny. Pray for me. And if you’re not religious, well, wish me luck.
. . .
Mom had left me in charge for the last hour because she said she needed to catch up on this book she was reading. Right. At about 7:30 people stopped coming, but I still was chained to the café under mom’s rules, so I just sat and talked to Kayla for a while. So far, I learned Kayla enjoys martial arts, sushi, despises café food, and is a very odd college girl.
“Hey Kay, what’s up?” I asked nonchalantly. She still considers me to be a little kid who shouldn’t be working already. Or if so, shouldn’t get paid. I still consider her to be a weird college teen who has a lot of pimples.
“Camilla. Hey. How’s middle school?” she smirked.
“Actually high school now, thank you very much,” I replied proudly. I couldn’t help but laugh as I saw Kay’s face go sour.
“Oh, so that must mean you’re starting to think about the colleges you’re goanna go to, right?”
“Universities actually. And all superbly out of your reach.” I said. It sounded a bit more rude that I meant it to be. A thick silence spread through the room for a few, harsh seconds.
“Which ones do you want to go to, in specific?” So she wasn’t going to take the bait. Smart.
“Well, not ivy leagues or anything. But I’d like to go to Academy of Art University, in San Francisco, and maybe-”
“What’ll be your major?” Kay asked smartly. So she thought I didn’t know majors, eh?
“Photography, and possibly Multimedia Communications. And of coarse many other classes. But I’m just a freshman, plenty of time, right?”
“And what if you don’t get in,” she said sourly.
“Then I don’t get it.”
“That’s not a good answer.”
“Well, it’s my answer.”
Silence.
“Hey, you’re mother finished up early tonight,” she said dumbly.
“Er, yeah. I kind of noticed that already.” Kay freaks me out. A lot.
She laughed. “You don’t get it, I was asking you why she finished up early." Um, YOU DIDN’T SAY THAT, DID YOU?!?
“Oh. She said she wanted to finish up a book. That’s all.” Kayla sighed and tightened her already very tight bun. She smoothed her green apron out, and smacked her lips. Did I mention she’s a neat freak?
“I wish I could just call it a day because I wanted to finish a book,” Kay said rudely.
“Well, you don’t own this place, do you?” I barked back. Just then a customer came in, two customers. They had heard me yelling. I went to the backroom as Kay flashed a smile at them.
If my mom was here, I don’t know what she would have done to me. Probably take my bike for a week or two. Or three. Or forever. I stared at the clock. Only a few more minutes, then I can bike the hell out of here. But why was I in such a rush? At home, only homework was greeting me. And a nice soft bed, but after the homework.
It reminded me of dinner, first the spinach, then the ice cream. I heard the customers talking to Kayla.
God, I’m such a kid. Most teenagers would say it’d remind them of relationships. First the coffee, then the extreme make out session.
I stared down at my flat chest. Maybe that’s why I think like a kid. ‘Cause my chest is as thick as a ten year old’s.
Customer #1 “I think I’ll get a breakfast bagel, what do you think honey?”
Customer #2 “It’s night, Marie! Get a bagel in the morning. How about we get…. Two coffees?”
Customer #1 “No, who drinks coffee at night!?”
Kayla “How about you try our new cappuccinos? They come in three different flavors, cookies & cream, mango, and caramel.”
Customer #2 “How much do they cost? Because I’m not paying a dime over five dollars here.”
Oh my god, another one of those flowery shirt tourists. How old was this pair? Sixty, sixty-five? Probably celebrating their retirement.
Why do I have to live in the fricken’ biggest tourist city in the country? Why! Why not a little hut on in abandoned island? Why not in a barn in the dead country? WHY!
Customer #1 “Oh Paul, you’re such a cheap butt. Lady, er Ms. White, could you get us two coffees, two breakfast bagels, and two er.. Caramel cappuccinos please?”
Kayla “Of coarse, just one moment please”
Customer #2 “Are you insane? That’s going to cost us over ten dollars Marie-”
Kayla “That’ll be $14. 56”
Customer #1 Opens wallet and gives money to Kayla
Customer #2 Takes all the food
Kayla “Have a great night!”
Door shuts loudly.
I came out of the backroom, Kay was obviously going to tell mom about me hiding out. But who wants to be around a cheap butt and a fat butt? “Hey Kay, I’m going out, k? See you tomorrow.”
I shoved my apron into the drawer, and walked out the door. She didn’t say anything. Right about now, I’m going to announce this was the worst night of the year. I mean, who wants to be working this long? Now I feel mom’s pain.
I jumped on my bike and swerved out of the market. The night was still young, very young. Young enough to finish all my homework before the AM? Possibly.
Again I felt the wind against my hair.
Sigh. I just want to disappear. Life wasn’t that good. Kade Levy makes it better. But truly, death doesn’t seem all that bad. I think I’m going emo. That’s not a good thing. Obviously.
I passed several houses, most of them with their lights on. What’s important in life? Right now, my life? Good grades, friends, family. Family. The thing is, I don’t have one. My mom is. But that’s all I’ve got.
My mom never talks about him. Trust me, I’ve begged, but she doesn’t even do the changing subject thing. She just walks away. There’s no albums anywhere with pictures of him, no recordings, no newspaper clippings. It’s as if life has gone on without him, I mean I never hear mom cry or anything like that. Life has gone on. The world has. But not me. I’m stuck in the past.
I don’t even have an idea who he is. All I know is that he has red hair, like me. I got it from him. I’m not a pathetic little girl that just sits in a toilet and moans about it. I hate it when people feel pity for me. Because they shouldn’t. They should feel pity for my mom. She lost everything the day he left. But she gained some too.
I slowly came to a stop as I reached my garage. I pressed in the code, and went inside.
My house is very easy to remember, it’s yellow and it’s the smallest house on the street. It’s kind of like a beach house I suppose, which is nice because I love the beach. The only bad thing is we own about two cubic feet of grass. Really.
I slipped inside the house and put my stuff away. Time for horrible stuff called. Homework. “Hey mom, you up there?” I yelled from the kitchen. I heard a mutter of response.
I dumped my bag on the floor and started tapping my finger nails on the smooth dinner table. I do that when I don’t know what to do. Homework or chat? Homework or chat? I rolled my eyes, chat obviously.
I logged on to my laptop, and saw a message from Jenny about an hour ago.
PaperandPen: Hey cam, wats up?
PaperandPen: Aw man, you’re not there
PaperandPen: k, i’ll talk 2 u later
I smiled. Jen’s always online. Always.
Star21: Hi Jen, mom made me work till so late 2day
Star21: Jen!
PaperandPen: srry, was making a pb&j
Star21: so, anything new?
PaperandPen: ben’s listening to his classical music again brb, ill call him
PaperandPen: k bak, so wat is up?
Star21: I had 2 work for 5 hrs! and now like 3 hrs of hw
PaperandPen: Yea, btw, is that essay due 4 English due on thurs or fri?
Star21: thurs, we only got 3 days. I’m 2 lazy 2 start it now
PaperandPen: hey, did u get picked 2 go 2 the buzz’s 1st meeting 2morrow? My English teacher invited me
The Buzz is the school’s newspaper. I know, dumb name, right? But our school’s mascot is a bee so it makes sense.
Star21: no, but I’m goanna go anyway, u don’t have 2 get picked, do u?
PaperandPen: no, but if they invite u that means they really want u 2 b on the staff
PaperandPen: they said their going to cut some ppl if 2 many ppl come
Star21: I hope its not me
PaperandPen: no, u’ll make it, seriously u rock at photography
Star21: thx, hey I gotta tell u something
PaperandPen: what?
Star21: but stay calm, k? don’t freak out or anything
PaperandPen: and since when do I freak out? Millie died and I didn’t freak out!
Millie was Jen’s cat. Rest in peace.
Star21: ok ok, well here it is…. Drum role please!
PaperandPen: o, just say it already!
Star21: I met this guy after school
PaperandPen: OMG! REALLY! Scarlett dear, we as ppl, meet guys very often. Seriously, that’s it?
Star21: I was riding my bike full speed, and I crashed into him, and he’s really nice. His name’s Kade levy, awesome nice right?
PaperandPen: 1. Whoa! Did u get hurt or something? No, bcuz u’d b at the hospital right now. 2. u like a guy. Good 4 u and 3. Yes, very kool name
PaperandPen: so tell me everything I guess
Star21: I’ll tell u 2morrow, I gotta do hw, k? c ya
PaperandPen: whoa! Ur just goanna leave me here at the edge of suspense? Nope, tell me, plz!
Star21: fine. He’s smart, talkative, friendly, plays soccer, and quite a good looking guy
PaperandPen: do u think he’s taken? Bcuz if he didn’t immediately leave after he bumped you that means he’s not, or he doesn’t care much bout his gf
Star21: how do u kno? Guys have can friends that are girls, and have a girlfriend
PaperandPen: I guess so… but that’d b so weird, but wat do u think? Taken, not taken
Star21: probably taken, but u can never b sure
PaperandPen: I say if he’s not taken, grab em as fast as u can, cuz he’ll be gone quick
Star21: hmm, so wats up with Crosscountry? r u goanna quit
PaperandPen: only if u do, though I HATE having 2 run a mile every single tues&thurs
Star21: I do 2, but it looses calories!!!
PaperandPen: u and I r already skinny enough
Star21: im 7lbs overweight 4 my height!!
PaperandPen: u weigh like 100 pounds, chill, really. Thomas weighs more then that
Star21: yea, but ur little bro is 5’5’
PaperandPen: well yea…. Sad that my 11 year old bro is taller then us
Star21:yep, but that’s just cuz we haven’t reached our growth spurt ye
PaperandPen: im not in 5th grade k? :O
PaperandPen: hey, wanna sleepover 2morow after da buzz meeting? We can go 2 like da movies or something
PaperandPen: or jog if u want
Star21: k
PaperandPen: or we can go bra shopping
Star21: NO! I don’t want 2 go 2 buy lacy black bras at Victoria’s secret, cuz guess what I found out a week ago?
PaperandPen: wat?
Star21: they don’t even have my size! Puh!
PaperandPen: lmao
PaperandPen: we can go 2 macys 2 get a trainer bra 4 u if u’d like
Star21: lets just c a movie
PaperandPen: wat movie?
Star21: idk u pick
Star21: k, well g2g cya
PaperandPen: bye!!!!!!!
Star21 logged off
