Bye Bye YWS

*I'm leaving for a week, to a place where's no Internet, no YWS. This was something that came to my mind Reviews please!*

Bye Bye YWS
by Kat

My dear YWS!
Is this our farewell?
I'm so addicted to you,
as if you've cast a spell.

I'm going away,
even if only for a week,
I'll miss you too much!
You're far too unique.

I'll be so depressed,
without your storybooks,
and constructive reviews.
Is it as bad as it looks?

My dear YWS,
this is our farewell.
I'm leaving you tomorrow,
I'll see you again in Hell.

haha! that was funny! keep writing!

Awww. That's too funy. Where are you going but only for a week? And only to return and see us all in hell? That was cute, too. Haha, keep up the good work.

Kat! *snuggles* When I saw the title, I thought, Kat's leaving? Wha? No! But, it's only for a week! Thank goodness!

Cute, quirky little poem! Hope to see you back soon!

Love,
Music

Thanks all for the reviews! I'm going to the beach. We were supposed to have left like an hour ago, but we're still here. See you soon!

*writewatiwant* wrote:*I'm leaving for a week, to a place where's no Internet, no YWS. This was something that came to my mind Reviews please!*

Bye Bye YWS
by Kat

My dear YWS! Nice opening!
Is this our farewell?
I'm so addicted to you, great punctuation
as if you've cast a spell.

I'm going away,
[s]even[/s] if only for a week,
I'll miss you too much!
You're far too unique. Unique does not sound right

I'll be so depressed,
without your storybooks, I would change 'storybooks' to stories
and constructive reviews.
Is it as bad as it looks? parallel structure!

My dear YWS, repetition!
this is our farewell. parallel structure
I'm leaving you tomorrow, That's depressing
I'll see you again in Hell.amazing ending!

OMG! What a nice, little poem. I don't know why, but I expected it to rhyme, but it did occasionally. Good job! You earned a gold star!

Grammar
Pretty perfect here. Nice use of punctuation, and no spelling errors. *claps*

Word Choice
The word choice here was great! Only word that didn't fit in was unique, it just didn't seem right to me.

Description
Perhaps add more onto where you are going?

Stylistic Devices
You used all of them except rhyming, which is amazing!


Great poem! I can't wait to read more of your work when you get back!

Also, I'm going to Hawaii for a whole week (without Internet) in a few weeks, so I'll soon learn how you feel.

That was a really funny poem.
So far, I didn't find any fault with it. The rhymes were OK, the way you composed it was really 'neat' and it ended in a great way. ^^
Hope to see you back on YWS soon!

I understand that this was probably just a spur-of-the-moment thing, but your rhymes seemed really forced. E.G farewell, hell. I don't understand why you're seeing us agin in Hell? Are you planning on dying while you're away? You've changed the poem to fit the rhymes, and it doesn't work.

The last part made me crack up! I think this was really good and smartly done. Maybe we should all make a theme song for YWS!? Yes we should! becuase this website is the best.