Two Friends, Two Lives, One Secret

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SORRY THERE'S A FEW ERRORS, I KNOW BUT I WAS IN A RUSH SO YEA.
PART 2
Julia sat in her history class dying of boredom. Bu it was her last class before she went home, so she didn’t really care. She watched the clock as time went past. Before she knew it, school was already over.
Julia slowly walked out of her class to her locker. As she exchanged her books, Samantha came up behind her. “Hey Julia,” said Sam. A big smile came across Samantha’s face, “Do you want to come over to my house today so we can hang out or something?”, asked Samantha. Julia was shocked. Sam asked her if she wanted to hang out? It was several seconds before Julia replied, ”Uhhm. Sure that’d be awesome.” Samantha's happy smile returned back to her face.
Julia and Samanha walked out of their school towards Samantha’s black Range Rover. Julia forgot that Samantha was a senior, so she already had her license. “Hop in,” said Samantha as she unlocked her driver side door. I wonder why Samantha all of a sudden wanted me to come over today, Julia thought to herself. But she didn’t think more of it on the way to her house, unsure of what to expect.
As her and Samantha walked up the stairs to her apartment building, Julia could hear a little girl screaming.
It was coming from Samantha’s apartment.
Julia looked at Samantha. She had a worried look on her face like something was wrong.
Sam pulled out her house key and opened the door. Their house smelled of lavender Fabreeze as Julia walked in. She could hear Samantha’s little sister throwing a tantrum in her bedroom as her Mother walked out with a surprised look on her face.
“Who’s this?” , asked Samantha’s Mom quite rudely as she sat down on the couch, obviously trying to tone out the crying.
“This is Julia. Mom, Julia. Julia, Mom. Are you hungry?” , asked Samantha, not waiting for her Mom’s reply. Julia shyly waved and grinned at her Mom.
“Uhhm. Just a little bit,” said Julia, unsure of what to say. Samantha grabbed two Cokes from the refrigerator and put some Bagel Bites in the microwave. As they both waited for their food to cook, Samantha’s Mom suddenly got up, and said, “Sam, I’m going to the grocery store. Watch Jenna and Sophia should be home from her tutoring by 3.”
And with that, she was out the door.
Last edited by Layla on Tue Apr 07, 2009 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I hope someday that someone will walk into my life and help me realize why it never worked out with him or anyone else.




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The last sentence

Watch your Jenna and Sophia should be home from her tutoring by 3.”

is confusing. rewrite it so its proper grammar. Also there was some misspells and grammar errors but it was good. Write some-more!!
I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut its self.




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So yea it does have spelling and grammer errors but im only reviewing it cuz im bored. but this was good keep writing.

As she exchanged her books, Samantha came up behind her. “Hey Sam,” said Julia in surprise.


if she came up behind her wouldnt sam be talking first you could say; "Hey Julia," Sam said, Julia jumped a little.

Samantha”s happy smile returned back to her face.


there should only be one apostraphe.

Julia and Samanha


Samantha.

I wonder why Samantha all of a sudden wanted me to come over today


write that, I wonder why Samantha all of a sudden wanted me to come over today

But she didn’t think more of it on her way to her house


write it, on the way to her house

Julia wlaked in.


you know whats wrong.

Mom quite rudely as she sat down on the, obviously


on the what the couch, the chair, the elephant??

Watch your Jenna and Sophia should be home from her tutoring by 3.”


OK hold the phone, that doesnt make any sense.

so that was good i like the story continue. :D
friendship
is when people know
all about you
but like you anyway
(anynonomous)




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that sounds hekka like you and jazz. is it??
Some people blame our generation, but have they stopped to think, who RAISED us?
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No it isn't about me and her. It sort've is but it isn't
I hope someday that someone will walk into my life and help me realize why it never worked out with him or anyone else.



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