cause my girlfriend made me- conrad's napowrimo thread

emerald strands move in the underwater wind
with an alien grace no dry forest knows
my heart wants to know these aquatic wastes
the sea holds my soul as nothing ever has

its currents and its waves entrance me
visions of its denizens are all i see
its waters touch me like a lover
can a mortal love the ocean? I thinkso

Connie,

I think you have some great things going on here, but there needs to be some kind of punctuation. please?



I especially like the first two lines of stanza one.

Ta,
Cal.

Motorcars with their headlights
zoom by
like luminescent mosquitoes
in the city
and the evening's heat

Connie, I'll give you a dollar if you finish all your poems this month.

The termites are in the wood
I can hear them
tittering
eating away at the foundations
it sounds like children's feet
to a teenage mother

emerald strands move in the underwater wind
with an alien grace no dry forest knows

These are my favorites ever. Though 'strands' makes me think, at first, there is some green hair being talked about here. But no. I like this poem.

eating away at the foundations
it sounds like children's feet
to a teenage mother

I also admire this one, because that last line is so loaded, and provides a whole new dimension to the idea of the termites. -claps-

Go, Conrad, go!

My bare feet on the concrete.
I shiver at the cold hard touch,
these sidewalks know no love.

But in this great grey age,
who truly knows romance?
When they sell love in plain view,
when all the billboards sport
a woman and her breasts,
can we really say we know love?

It is a fleeting thing of older days
all our efforts seem to mock it.
What we see on our TVs,
it is but a parody of the truth

The truth is long talks
the truth is moments of silence
the truth is her
the truth is only her

Like a summer's wind
she simply blows me away
Her love is my life

The Centaur to his Student

The old days in the mountains
they are gone
Even now your kind forgets the magic
forgets us

Once we roamed this land free
all of us
Now we watch from the fringes
the lost

This is the midnight of myth
our passing
Perhaps one day we will return
perhaps

I will miss this good green land
all the hills
I will miss the mares of the pastures
all my foals

The wind softly blows and it is time
remember this
Know what once was in this world
it may come again

These are all really good.

I am especially in love with these lines

My bare feet on the concrete.
I shiver at the cold hard touch,
these sidewalks know no love.

Beautiful!

~Angel

The petals dance on the wind
as the flowers fall apart
in the fading twilight
of your love

All our hopes
fall apart in the meadow
two souls part their ways forever
yet my heart shall remember you forever

When spring comes again
my heart knows the purest joy
We are to be wed

Haikus can be fun
but sometimes they are odd
Antarctican dance

The winter is long
but spring always follows it
Seasons pass on

They ask, "What are distance and time"
In time, all distance may be conquered
and go the distance to beat the time
But we have neither luxury
For all the world's between us
and a million years are passing
so it seems